When I was just an owlet!
by Twinkling Tabby
Summary: Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore before they become the professors we know... Ever wondered how they met? Please if you read, review!!!! Yes, now it has a funny title... If you find it strange and want any explanation, though... REVIEW AND ASK !!!
1. Author's Rambling, uploaded 08-30

**  
    Hello everybody! I promise I won't make incredibly long author notes later, it's nearly all here!**

**    Everything from the Harry Potter books belong to J. K. Rowling, the numerous publishers of her books, including Bloomsbury, Raincoast… and perhaps to Warner for the film. Well, Obviously not to me, I had to mention it, apparently it's in the law.**

**(Eyes rolling)  
  
    So first I'd like to make clear a quite important "detail". Yes, in this story, Great Albus Dumbledore is less than 10 years older than Strict Minerva McGonagall. And they're at school during the 2nd World War. It's not because I want my story to work, but just because I can't help seeing them that way. And actually, yes, I know what J.K. says about it in numerous interviews. Wizard's age and all that… But my characters are the age they would be if wizards aged just like Muggles like us do! That's how I thought they did, when I read the books. And I can't change it now… Oh, all right, perhaps I could but… Be kind and don't persecute me? Anyway I've got two things to object to criticism:   
    - What Rowling says but doesn't write is not a serious matter, because Harry Potter is a assemblage of books, written books, and not the thought(s) of the author about her work. No, no, no, that's not an awful excuse, actually a quite fundamental literary principle! I swear! ^_- And nowhere in the books is said anything about those characters' ages, except that Dumbledore is old (silver hair and beard, etc) and Minerva, err... well we just know she's an adult, as a matter of fact!   
    - Whatever may come out later in books 5 to 7, I can't keep changing my story to make it fit in with everything!!! My plot is anyway a pure fantasy, I can't even seriously pretend that's the way things 'happened' and argue about it, and won't be able to do so until J.K. decides she wants my work to be published and to belong to her set of books!!! And strangely enough, I'm in the opinion THAT might not happen! ^_^ SO I just imagine! And so, no matter what I'd like, it's always possible that future books contradict my version of events!   
    OK, I must admit all that is generality about all fanfics, especially the ones related to non-yet-ended series!! But I needed to warn, just to avoid flaming reviews about it!   
  
    What is more special to my fic, though, is just that I pray you to let reviews –I beg you on bended knee ?-, not only to praise or flame, but also if you spot grammar and spelling errors and nicely want to let me know. I won't get hurt, promised! I'm not writing in my primary language, so mistakes are unavoidable, I fear! Please, forgive me and help me to improve my story and my English, I don't want what I've written to hang around with three mistakes per sentence, that wouldn't be nice! Actually! **

**    Finally, please, if you want to flame, just explain why you criticize something, don't let me simple "I don't like chap 5" or something along the same line… That's very mean, because then I try to fathom why, and then I try again, and again… And believe me, there's very, very few chances I'll become a Seer and guess what you mean! Sniff, it would be so useful, though, to be a Seer sometimes! **

**    Oh, Yes, a last thing: if you let anonymous reviews which require an answer, I'll write it in the Reviews-Page, so just go there and check it, ok?   
  
    So thanks for reading, and.... ENJOY!!!**

**PS : Did I mention how much I preferred reviewers to hidden readers who don't want the author to know they've read and/or express what they think? Thanks to all of you who reviewed, are reviewing or will review my work!******


	2. 1 : The Journey To Hogwarts

  
  


**1. The journey to Hogwarts**  
  
  
Albus Dumbledore was sitting in an empty compartment of the Hogwarts Express, quietly and pensively playing with his Head Boy Badge, turning it in almost all possible positions between his fingers... As they went out of a forest, light came glistening on his Badge. He raised his head and looked at the sky.  
  
There were lots of tiny clouds out there, which seemed to be just in the middle of a form tournament. Well that's what seemed to him. Anyway, this one, over there, had achieved a really cute sheep figure, which he thought was the best of all he could see. How nice! ... He put his head is his right hand, and began to think again. How long exactly had he been just sitting there? He took out a Muggle watch, well, 16 PM... They would arrive in two or three hours now, certainly. Well, it depended on the train's speed, but as it was his seventh year, he began to evaluate that quite well. But then, he hadn't taken it so often, since he often remained in Hogwarts for holidays when he could, alone or not. He didn't mind being alone, almost never felt lonely, in fact. Not that he had no friends, but well, they were quite noisy and sometimes childish, weren't they? He loved them, and loved being among them, no doubt about that. He found them really amusing, and felt himself surrounded with life, with them, what was really pleasant. By the way, they also found it good for him to be forced in a quite silly behaviour sometimes!! But though, when he was alone, that was also a good opportunity to take advantage of his own presence, in the calm of... that compartment for example.   
Just when he was thinking there mustn't be a lot of first years, if he had been able to keep a whole compartment to himself, 'cause the train was usually really full with students, he heard footsteps in the corridor... It was Charles, he was sure of that, he knew this sound by heart, because of all those times he had listened to him leaving or entering the dormitory in the dead of the night... Charles was a quite nice student, Muggle-born, and above all fascinated by what tricks magic could allow you to... But who was it with him? As he heard a small laugh, Albus immediately knew it was Carola, Gryffindor like the two of them, but a year younger, and then it was just indubitably that Gaia and Gregory, the twins from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, where following them. They must have looked for him in the entire train, he thought, no luck he was in the last one! But then, by the sound of it, they didn't care of how long they've been searching, as long as they were sure to find him now!   
  
Carola pushed the door open.  
"There you are! We've visited all the train because of your damned habit to choose the place where we would least think you are, you know!   
-But then, Gregory added, we've found some other friends also, that was quite pleasant to see them again!   
-Yea right. But why on earth are you still alone?" That was a typical Charles' question, with no answer he could possibly accept for once!   
Carola came to the rescue: "You know it wouldn't be Albus otherwise, don't you?   
-That's right", Gaia added.  
Well, noticed Albus smiling, they were still able to ask him questions and give the answers themselves, so that he didn't have to speak unless he really had something to say. That was perfect, as it always had been with them!   
  
Just as Gaia was complaining a 15th time because her brother still took too much place and was almost squashing her against the window, and as she finally decided to sit on his laps, so that there wouldn't be problems any more, Albus heard some strange sound in the corridor. His friends, seeing him listening, stopped their conversation.  
"What's happening, Albus?"   
He didn't answer. He would have sworn he had heard someone arguing. Just as Charles opened the mouth to finish the sentence he had interrupted, someone shouted again, nearer, and this time all of them heard it.   
"I'll go and see what it is, said Albus... you know, Head Boy stuff... must see if there's nothing serious"  
  
Outside was a girl Albus supposed a first year, since he didn't knew her, and a 5th year Slytherin he knew, threatening her. "What're you doing with her?   
-Oh, Dumbledore, still caring of what is none of your business, don't you?   
-That's my business if you're trying to harm her.  
-Oh yea, I forgot, prefect..." His eyes went to his badge "Oh, Head Boy, now, excuse-me!   
Anyway, we were just having a little chat, weren't we?", he added to the girl, which was much smaller than both of them. She didn't dare to say a word, but her face clearly said they wasn't just friendly speaking.  
"Go off of her, won't you? You should be ashamed, perhaps even she'll be a Slytherin, you'd be threatening a member of your own house?   
-I don't think so. We are pure blood, in Slytherin, you boring M I'll-save-the-world" And he went.  
  
Albus turned to the first year, which was still gazing at him as if he had saved her life.   
"Well, he was just having fun, scaring you, he wouldn't have hurt you." She didn't seem so convinced, and still remained unable to speak.  
"Anyway, sorry you had to see that as a first event of your school year. You'll see, Hogwarts is far better than it!   
-Still, thanks, she finally said. A... Are they all that way in Slytherin?   
-Quite, he answered smiling, but don't worry...  
-What if I AM in Slytherin?   
-You won't."  
She looked at him questioningly.  
"First, you don't look like them. And then...  
-Then?   
-I think he said you weren't a... Well your parents are muggle?   
-Oh... Well my mum was a witch, and she married a muggle. But then... she died when I was three, so I don't know much magic! My father just told me I was probably a witch, what explained some odd stuff I did, but couldn't much more..."  
She blushed.  
"Nothing to be ashamed, he added quickly  
-Oh really? I was sitting with them, 'cause they seemed to know quite much about magic, and just when I told them about my parents, they all seemed so, well, despising and all, and this tall one began to annoy me...  
-Well... They are Slytherins, aren't they? So nothing to worry about! Really..." She seemed really relieved.   
  
Thinking fast, he added "Were you sitting with them since this morning?"  
She nodded.  
"So you won't want to go back there, I suppose. Come in our compartment; you'll meet people from the others Houses, you'll see they're much nicer, and then... you'll find them at your table when you're sorted, so that you won't stay lonely! There's not much place, he added, thinking of Gaia complaining during the previous hours, but then... you're not really taking place, are you?"  
She blushed.  
"I wasn't laughing at you, really, no problem with being small, is it?   
- If you say so, she said in a highly doubtfully tone"  
He wanted to change the subject.  
"Where are you from by the way, you've got a lovely Scottish accent, don't you?   
-Oh, you've noticed... She blushed again and stared at the floor.  
-Yea, and I said lovely, didn't I?   
-Well you also said there was no problem being one head shorter than everybody!   
-And I think it!"  
  
They reach the compartment door.  
"Oh finally, Albus, what the hell were you doing?   
- Taking a great prat Slytherin from threatening her", he said. They all noticed 'her' behind Albus.  
"Oh, then, do you present us?   
-Well, so that's Charles, and Carola, from Gryffindor, and then Gaia from Ravenclaw and Gregory from Hufflepuff. They're twins, he added, noticing her look at Gaia on her brother's laps,  
-Oh...   
-And you are...?" He suddenly felt stupid, not knowing her name.  
"Oh, excuse-me, I'm Minerva McGonagall.  
-And I think I didn't tell you, Albus Dumbledore, from Gryffindor"  
  
He went to his seat next to the window, and then saw there was not much place for her, really.   
"Come here, he said, I think I can make you a place, if Charles just decides to put this trick out, so that I can move", he smiled. Charles seemed to be quite offended that his friend had seen his fire jerking-exploding-leave, that he had tried to place so that Albus would sit on, but then he said he would improve the leaves soon, to make them unnoticeable!   
  
Half an hour later, the train stopped and they all went out, leaving their trunks and an exploding leaf Charles had forgotten. Before Minerva went to the lake, Albus just patted her on the shoulder. (That was the first time he did her that... somehow not the last... Historical moment, isn't it?)  
"So then, see you later!   
-See you later"  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. 2 : The Sorting Ceremony

**  
****2. The Sorting Ceremony**  
  
  
Minerva felt quite tense, as she followed the gamekeeper to the lake. She and her classmates were to go across it in small boats. But then, she hadn't to complain, it was a quite sunny day and she wouldn't have liked the journey under rain, or storm. "Do First Years also have to, when there's a storm?", she asked herself... But then she put the thought out of her mind, because she had to find a place where there were no future Slytherins. She didn't think she could bear them again, since they were still laughing at her from the group they formed apart from the others... She was sure they would all be in Slytherin, and would all enjoy it. Though the others seemed all right... Well, quite terrified, but nice, really. She climbed on a boat with two others, and as she almost stumbled, she heard some laugh in the distance. Ignore them, she thought. Just ignore them.   
  
Then one of the two other students spoke:   
"They don't seem very friendly, do they?   
-No, my brother told me some years the Slytherins were particularly err... the way they are, and then they found themselves in the train and began annoying everyone already before the Sorting, answered a girl,  
-You've got a brother here, so you must know a lot of things about the school already? Minerva asked  
-Well a bit, but really not much, I can swear you... By the way, I'm Milane Moody. Alastor, it's my brother, is in 7th year, so we won't be often together I suppose. And then he will leave at the end of the year...  
-I'm Minerva McGonagall, she said, still intending not to be sick as the boat kept driving them toward the castle,  
-And I'm Dedalus Diggle, said the boy"  
  
The remained silent for the rest of the journey, because they were really trying whole of them not to be sick, what wasn't easy since their state of stress didn't help them. When they finally reached the castle, they joined those who had been behind them and followed, noticing that nobody was in any way finer as they felt. Minerva looked at the old teacher waiting for them all to arrive. He had pepper-grey hair and seemed for the moment greatly annoyed about something. Then he finally spoke:   
"You'll wait here until the Sorting Ceremony. I suppose you feel just as queasy as I was on my first day, so I'm sorry to have to let you here for some time, but the Headmaster still isn't there, so we have to wait. I'll go and see what's happening, and then I come as soon as possible"  
Quite hard to think this man had a day been on his first day at Hogwarts, AND queasy, but then, he seemed quite friendly and welcoming. Minerva wanted to share her thoughts with Milane, just at her right, but it seemed she really couldn't speak, 'cause her throat was something like unable to move, so she remained silent. Soon she noticed all the First Years packed here were certainly in the same state, because none of them said anything and they just stares strangely at each other, as if hoping not to find this same fear in there eyes, as if just wanting someone to make a joke, or something to happen, because they needed it more than anything else. Minerva began to wonder in which house she could possibly be. She had always been a hard-worker, so perhaps Ravenclaw. But then she knew you could generally not know it before the Sorting Hat decided... But still, Gryf-   
  
She was interrupted by some wave of fear, as a coloured ghost came through the wall:   
"So those are the firsties!! D'you know what? The Headmaster won't come, 'cause the Sorting Hat doesn't want to sort you..." He laughed cruelly "I have upset that old stupid hat, d'you know? Ha... Told him he didn't realise how ridiculous he was with his songs...-  
-Really pleased to know that Peeves, said a voice behind him.  
-Oh, Professor, you...  
-Yes, me, Peeves. Now move ahead, please"  
  
The friendly-looking man gave the First Years a smile and told them not to worry, and he conduced them to the great Hall, where the Sorting Hat had finally accepted to fulfil his duties, and began to song. As long as the Hat was singing, Minerva could hardly think to anything else, because seeing an old, very old hat singing is not a daily experience, is it? ... But then as the student began to be sorted, she couldn't help wondering... Really in Gryffindor she could be with that boy of the train, which seemed more than okay... She heard it was "Diggle Dedalus", D... She still had until M... Or had they put her name on G? What if she just begged the Hat to put her in Gryffindor? But he probably wouldn't want, and perhaps he was still angry because of that ghost they had seen, so that he wouldn't put her where she wanted, on purpose, just to annoy her... G was already passed, so she was at M... Anyway she was being stupid, what told her that boy would be a friend, he was appreciated and Head Boy and all, and a 7th year, she was being stupid, he wouldn't-  
"McGonagall Minerva"  
She went to the sorting hat, a bit shaking, and then took it and put it on her head. She hadn't noticed it was too big for everyone and thought she must look really stupid with a hat covering her face until her nose...   
  
Then she heard a small voice "You're a hard worker, aren't you?   
-I knew that, she thought, I'm going to be in Ravenclaw, shouldn't have hoped-   
-You don't want Ravenclaw?" She startled... So this hat could really read thoughts!!!  
"Yea of course I can... And you want to be a Gryffindor? ... Well... So then, you really have loyalty, and bravery, and I think befriend Albus will help you on the way to grow up... Yes, that would be good  
-How do you know about Albus? she thought  
-Well I can read thoughts, can't I? And I can tell you you'll become friends, despite all that you're scared of... Oh, and just one thing: I'm too big for everybody so stop thinking you're ridiculous. So... GRYFFINDOR"  
He had said that aloud. "THANKS", she thought very strong, and putting the out off, she went to Gryffindor Table, where cheers were welcoming her.   
  
She sat next to Albus.  
"Well it took him quite a long time with you, he said, as a future Hufflepuff was being sorted, you must be quite a complicated mind, are you?  
-Yea I suppose", she grinned.  
Then it was Milane's turn, and Minerva cheered with the others as she became a Gryffindor.  
  
The Hogwarts fest was something really fantastic. This evening, as she climbed the stairs behind Albus, toward the Gryffindor Common room, she wondered what had impressed her most. All those teacher at the staff table were in a good place, of course, as teachers had always impressed her quite much, but then, those ghosts, which to her relief were all much more friendly that this Peeves they had seen before, that was something... And the ceiling. Never would she have imagine how great it looked like, The Enchanted Ceiling of the Great Hall was not a simple colour bewitchment; it was really a sky. Only this evening she had understood the enthusiasm of all those things she had read about it! Well, and then there was the food, appearing in her plate, just like that... wow! As they walk and walk again, and as she asked herself how she could possibly found this long way alone the next morning, Milane pointed her all those paintings on the wall... Minerva had not seen much wizarding picture in her life, just the ones her mother had let her, and she was quite impressed by all those people in their frames, whispering as the first years got past them, and staring at the students not unlike the way those last stared at them in exchange! They finally stopped in front of a picture with a smiling pink-dressed woman in it. Albus waited for all the first years to listen to him, and then said "This is the Fat Lady, the password to enter is GREEN UNICORN" at this words the portrait opened "Thanks, he added, if any of you've got a problem, go to a prefect, or to me, we're here to help you". How on earth could a unicorn be green??, she thought...   
  
They all entered the common room and looked after their dormitories. But Minerva saw that others students, from 2d to 7th years, were staying in the Common Room. So she went to Albus, which had let himself in an armchair near the fire.  
"Can I sit with you?   
-Of course you can, he said, and summoned another armchair next to his one. So, how did you find your first evening?"  
In fact, they had been sitting one next to the other during the dinner, but Albus had been talking to his friends, and Minerva, not daring to take part of this conversation, had been chatting with Milane and the two other girls in Gryffindor First year. So she began telling him all what had surprised her, and he was quite happy to explain her all she wanted to know.   
  
After half an hour, most of the student had left the room, tired of this long day, and at least Albus' friends came to him,   
"Goodnight Albus, we're going to bed,   
-Goodnight, Carola  
-Don't you also come?   
-No Charles, I'll come later, ok?   
-But you should get some sleep, really, he said, and this young miss two, perhaps...  
-Don't worry for me, both of you, sleep well, Albus added smiling,  
-So, you too, and good first night in your new bed, Minerva  
-Thanks"  
Charles and Carola left, each to his own dormitory, and Albus stayed smiling quietly to the fire.  
"You know what, Minerva, I think he's right and you should get some sleep before your first lesson,  
-And you?   
-As you see I'm a strong boy, am I not?   
-Well, that doesn't mean you don't have to sleep!   
-No, I just... Well, Charles is a bit talkative and won't give me some rest until we both fell asleep, so I'll just stay a bit here before, I like to have a little bit of time just for me, on evenings, just to think...  
-Well, ok then, goodnight,  
-Yea, have some good dreams"  
  
Then she walked to the door that led to the girl's dormitories, and climbed the spiral stairs until she reached one with a "First Years" board hanging on the door. She was exhausted, and all she was able to think as she pulled on night clothes, was that judging by the staircase, she was probably in a tower of the castle... She knew just what Albus felt, and as she climbed in the mauve four poster bed behind which her trunk was, she pulled the curtains on and sat there... just thinking. And soon she fell asleep.  
  



	4. 3 : First Day at School

  
**3. First day at school**  
  
  
Next morning, Minerva woke up a bit later than she had wanted to, so she ran in the bathroom, had no time to really do her hair, and only combed it before she went out with Milane and the other first years Joyce and Lillian. Then they tried to find the Great Hall and after getting lost at least 7 times, they finally arrived there by the wrong way, just behind Slytherin table, and had to walk through the Great Hall to reach their table. Albus was already there, with Charles and Carola and the First Years came next to them.  
"So how are you? asked Charles  
-How many times did you get lost?" added Albus. Minerva looked at him half-reproaching, but though, he didn't seem to be joking,  
"Well, 8 times if you count the wrong direction we took after going through the Portrait-hole  
-Quite normal then... Charles had to walk for nearly an hour, his first day, and then he had almost no time to eat, although he had got up really in advance!", Charles was making a please-forget-it wave of hand, and retorted meaningfully  
"Don't make me look like a fool, you really don't need it to impress those First Years, and Minerva is _already _dreaming to become your little overprotected friend" They all laugh, though Minerva was turning quite red... and Albus seemed to become deeply interest in the sky, oops, the ceiling, Minerva corrected herself. Charles laughed and added "Anyway, you're really cute with your hair that way, Minerva", he said seriously, as if only speaking about a charm he had been studying ; she blushed again, thinking she certainly matched the Gryffindor Banner by now. Carola was dangerously frowning at Charles as she opened her mouth, most likely to tell him to stop annoying, or flirting with, or whatever with little First Years in their first day, but then about a hundred or more owl post burst into the Great Hall, and Minerva asked if there were always so many. And she learnt there were !   
  
A tiny white owl came next to her.  
"Oh, Hello Griphook, she said, has dad finally learnt how to tie up a letter properly ?" He obviously hadn't and she spent five great minutes of her friend's laugh to undo the many knots her father had thoroughly done. It took them a while to stop giggling as she finally read the short letter.  
"Good news ? asked Albus,  
-Yea, he's wishing me good luck for my first day here.  
-By the way, why is your owl called Giphrook ??  
-Griphook, it's Griphook, and I think it's a name from a Muggle comic, or something like that.  
-What's a comic ?" asked Milane.  
So those who knew what it was began explaining her what was a comic and describing the heroes they knew, until Professor Siwell, which was their Head of house and Charm teacher, walked among the students, giving them their timetables.  
  
"Oh, no, we've got Divination this morning, how can they expect us to begin all our weeks with double divination whole year ? said Albus  
-Don't blame them, you've got your Muggle Lesson just next to look forward to, as you like it so much, said Charles with some forced grin. He had arithmancy instead of divination, what was hardly better to begin a Monday morning, and he really didn't like Muggle's lesson enough to help him bear what was before !  
-Well, Albus went on, what have you today in First Year ?" and he looked over Minerva's shoulder, what was easy since she was really shorter than him,  
-Transfiguration first, you'll see, that's not simple, and I think they've done it on purpose to make all the Gryffindor's Mondays mornings difficult ! What the hell have we done so bad to earn that ? But really, transfiguration is interesting and Pr Diggory is all right.  
-I heard he had a baby this summer, you know ? said Carola  
-Oh, if you say so  
-And they said his name is Cicero, quite a funny name, isn't it ?  
-Well, Carola, please, have some compassion for those who have not-ordinary-muggle-suitable-names, will you ?"  
Carola just laughed, at the pretending-to-be-angry look in Albus' face.  
Soon they had to go back to the dormitory to take their school things, and then to head to their lessons, which could be quite difficult, as Minerva was not sure she would remember all the directions Albus told her to reach the classroom.  
  
******************  
  
This evening, Minerva came back to the Common Room exhausted, but quite satisfied of her day, except perhaps this problem in herbology in which she had covered herself of mud and felt really ridiculous, and even worse at the teacher's sarcastic notices about her not being as good at practicum than in theory. In fact she had given him answers to all his impossible questions at the beginning of the lesson, and so forced him to accord points to Gryffindor, which he obviously wouldn't forgive easily. Minerva went to her dormitory and just lay on her bed, staring at the high ceiling. Now she was here, alone, and the day was over, all that was wrong began strangely to pop up in her mind. Finding that would soon become horrible if she didn't stop it, she took a book and started reading. That was better...  
"hmm hmm..." She startled as she heard someone tackling his throat at the door of the dormitory.  
"Do I disturb you ? said Albus,  
-Not at all, she smiled  
-Well, I thought you weren't working, 'cause we usually do our homework in the Common Room or the library,   
-I wasn't working, really, just reading something...  
-Since the other First year girls were together down there, I just wondered if you didn't felt lonely here, but then, if you want to read in peace,  
-No I don't want to. Well you can enter, no ? Won't stay out there...  
-Yea, thanks" And he entered the room.  
"In fact..." she sight... "well, in fact, I was just looking for some rest... No, I don't want you to go, she added quickly as she saw Albus was about to say something, I was just lying there, and then I felt strangely not too good, and I just had to take that book, just to take my mind out of all, you know...  
-Did something go wrong today ?" There was concern in his voice, and she found herself somehow telling him all about her day, how she was so tense in transfiguration, and then her charm lesson, and Professor Doyle of herbology not liking her, and how she had finally almost slept in history of magic, and then, when she had finished, just stared at him quite unbelievingly, not knowing how she had decided to tell him all that,  
"Excuse me, I'm annoying you with it, I know it's none of your business and I shouldn't...  
-That's all right. I asked you to, remember ?... And I'm glad you told me your first day, and happy you didn't keep all that worrying you... bouts of sadness and nostalgic feelings are never pleasant to deal with alone, are they? Pr Doyle is Slytherin head of house, and that explains much, I think, anyway. And he would never, ever, like a Gryffindor, I can swear you... And about history of magic you know what? I think you'll soon really sleep in Pr Binn's lessons! We all have done that, since he's so... well... I think boring is too weak!   
-That is, she nodded fervently in agreement.  
-But then, he's really been here for a long time, and I think some day he may stop teaching to do something else of his life! I heard he teaches here since he's 20, and I could bet he will soon reach his forties!   
-Oh, do you think teaching is not interesting, then?   
-Not at all, just... well, you could also do something else in your life, don't you think? He has spent his days in Hogwarts since he's 11, and that's a lot of time!"   
She hesitated... "Yea... I'd like to become a teacher, though...  
-Oh, do you? I'm sure you would be a wonderful one!"  
She laughed  
"What?   
-Well, you've just known me since yesterday, and you've already an opinion about what I am and could do, quite surprising, isn't it?   
-That's right... So imagine what I will do in a year or so!"  
They both laughed. Then they remained silent, looking at each other. It seemed to her his eyes were irradiating light, in the semi-darkness of the dormitory. But that couldn't be right. Eyes weren't candles, she told herself.   
  
As it was time for the dinner, they went down the stairs and walked with the others to the Great Hall. Really that was a happy dinner, and Minerva couldn't help feeling almost cheerful, and was quite ashamed at the thought of his father, most certainly alone in their kitchen, and trying to cook himself a dinner, what she usually did since she had been seven, because cooking was really better than eating what her father was able to prepare! ... How long would he survive until abandoning any idea of a real meal and decide that he definitely preferred fruits and sandwiches? ... Well, perhaps the neighbours would invite him sometimes on Sundays, and then in exchange they would take tea in Minerva's garden? ... So he would feel less lonely...  
"Minerva?"... She startled. Albus' tone suggested it hadn't been his first attempt to take her from her thoughts.  
"Yea, sorry!   
-Stop excusing yourself, will you?, He said laughing, What were you thinking of?   
-Nothing...  
-That was some deep nothing, then?"  
She just grinned, and they joined the conversation the others had been leading.  
  
*****************************************************  
  
That had been really a good day, she thought, this evening, already falling asleep... Gryffindor was a wonderful house, really... Oh God, why was she so tired? ... She could feel each part of her body relaxing now, as if they had all been tense all day! And she really would have loved to have some elder brother like Albus... Ô, sleep, sweet sleep... "Have good dreams", he had said again... She couldn't help noticing he only said it to her... She yawned... She couldn't help... AWE she couldn't help anything; she was already asleep...  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. 4 : A Head Boy's Week-End

  
**4. A Head Boy Week-End**  
  
  
Albus felt light touching his left ear, coming from the window which was directly next to his bed, through the gap between the curtains he hadn't entirely close, as he often did, because as he said, nor the wall, neither the sky would spy him during the night! ... Anyway light meant the sun was rising... He smiled and kept his eyes shut... But suddenly... The sun? Rising? He was going to be late for his first lesson. In half-a-second, he had turned toward the ceiling, opened his eyes, was ready to jump out of the bed, had evaluated quickly from the sun's position that it should be 8, wondered why he hadn't been woken before, noticed that his fellow David's snores proved also his presence within the dormitory, and tried to remember what lesson he had first, in order to find in front of which of the teacher he would have to feel ridiculous... And then he remembered exactly... exactly that he wouldn't have to face any angry teacher this morning. That he wouldn't be late for any lesson. That there would have been no reason for him to wake up early. It was Saturday. First Saturday of the school year... "Stupid old git!", he told himself, feeling his heart's beating coming back to a normal speed...   
  
Well, now he was truly awoken. Anyway, if he got up without waiting, he would be able to catch up the potion's work about Dragon blood before his appointment as Head Boy with Pr Siwell. He hadn't followed this lesson, because he had been that Thursday afternoon very deeply involved in a very interesting dream... In fact it wasn't a dream, rather some thoughts he had given to wonder what Minerva's childhood had been like until this year... They had had a long conversation on Wednesday evening, after he had found her in the library and tried to convince her not to spend all her evenings there, and she had let out some elements about her life, which he had intended to combine, rather unsuccessfully, by the way! It was no good to think of her or everything else instead of listening to Pr Burret... But then, this old cold unpleasant witch was not nearly as capturing as Minerva! ... And anyway she had said during the whole lesson that Dragon Blood had so much magical properties, but unluckily undiscovered uses yet... It had certainly been really boring!   
  
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So as he reached the Great Hall, he was thinking he would be one of the first ones there, and he was right. There was only two Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor at breakfast yet. But then... Yea, no doubt about it, the Gryffindor seemed to be Minerva, who had a book in front of her and was distractedly putting a more or less assuredly led spoon in her mouth, without taking her eyes from the book. He stared at her smiling for a minute, before deciding to go and sit in front of her. She had stopped eating and was just absorbed in her book. From where he was he could see it was a copy from the library of "Modern history of the magical world"... Quite boring, he thought, why was she so avidly reading?   
  
"Hello" he said...  
"Hello Albus", she didn't raise her eyes. She had become quite paler than she usually was, and turned quickly three or four pages, feverishly, read some sentences again, gasped, stopped reading, and finally seemed to realise she was at breakfast, staring at her milk as if she suspected it to be poisonous.  
He glanced at her in surprise, slowly beginning to eat, as his breakfast had appeared on the table.   
  
Finally, he took the book from between them, closed it, and gently put it at his side.  
"Minerva, are you all right?   
-Yea, she said lightly, yea, I am...  
-Why are you reading that way at breakfast?   
-Oh... Well... I wanted to know what happened in the wizarding world at the time of... you now... when my mother... well... I was wondering what her time looked like, since my father had never been able to tell me about this world... So I borrowed the book from the library yesterday, so that I could read it during the week-end...  
-Well... And you were so impatient that...  
-In fact... uumm... yep, I think that's it. I couldn't wait!"  
She still seemed a bit strange and pale.  
"Don't you eat a bit more?   
-No, really, I'm not hungry...  
-You took all that in your plate, though, so perhaps you were hungry...  
-Not any more...  
-You should eat, you know. I don't think I'll give you that book again until you've had a real meal!"  
She made a forced grin, and started swallowing rather reluctantly some bit of bread... She looked quite unconvinced about the point of feeding herself, though...  
"I just can't any more, Albus" she sighed. "I'm not starving myself, really, but I think I'll go now", she added, seeing his glance. And she left, her usual braid swinging as she walked slowly, as if a bit unsure. Albus couldn't help feeling something was wrong. Well, her strange walk could be explained by loads of things, really, but still... she had forgotten her book! And that wasn't like her usual conscientious self.  
  
He finished his breakfast very worried about her, and then went to the Common Room. But she wasn't there. Charles was sitting by the fire, though, and told him he hadn't listened the lesson about Dragon Blood, 'cos' it was so boring and he had been working on his exploding fire-jerking leaves again. So with his bag, Albus left to the library, groaning about friends not paying attention in potion, although slightly expecting she would be there, but nor did he find her reading some oddly heavy old book... That was becoming really worrying. Was she ill? Still, he made a thorough research, and found out about Dragon Blood what seemed to him much more than Pr Burret had told them, and much more interesting, really... Though he wasn't sure he was able to draw any parallel, since he really had been elsewhere that day! And from a comparison of some modern research, he thought... Well, if he wasn't wrong... But then he should be, yea... That wouldn't be that simple, if people had been looking for it unsuccessfully since millenniums! But then, if you just...  
  
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
10 o'clock finally approached, Albus had finished his work, and he wanted to let his school things in the dormitory before going to Pr Siwell. Though he didn't know what he should do with Minerva's book. He would have preferred to give it back to her himself, but she would probably want to read it this morning. So he gave it to her friends Milane, Joyce and Lilian, which he had spotted chatting in the Common Room, and who didn't know where she had gone.  
So it was a quite worried Albus that walk through the corridors, toward his Head of house's office. He was far away in his thoughts, walking mechanically, as he knocked something down and suddenly startled.  
"Sorry", they said together, and then he realised what, or rather who was lying on the floor...  
"Minerva, what're you doing here?!"  
He raised his hand to help her.  
-Well, just walking, and sorry I was apparently thinking a bit too much...  
-Didn't pay attention either, no problem... are you all right?"  
She had stood up again.  
"Yea, of course"   
He looked sceptically in her eyes, but she didn't quite meet his ones...  
"I let your book to Milane, in the Common Room, by the way,  
-My book? .... Oh, yea, that book... Anyway I must go, we are to learn history of magic together this morning with the others..." She blushed "We've established turns to take notes, in fact, so...  
-I think I can understand that, he laugh, but perhaps you shouldn't tell me before a Head-Boy-Appointment, you don't know what I'm going to repeat!"  
They grinned, and hurried, each toward his goal.  
  
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Albus was regretfully abandoning the appealing idea of a nap, though he felt his bed in front of him, addressing him puppy dog eyes, clearly meaning he didn't want to be left alone... No! He wasn't going to take a nap. Definitely not. He had promised to Minerva they would do some homework together this afternoon, because she was sure she would never be able to transfigure her dice in a marble without training before the lesson, and that was the Monday morning's program Pr Diggory had announced the First Years... Albus highly doubted about the necessity of all that, but then she had looked so horrified at the idea she could fail in transfiguration in her very second week... Not unlike the way she had seemed to feel on Tuesday, when she had lost three poor little points for being late in potion. She had been getting lost in the dungeon in fact, and came 15 minutes later, what didn't pleased Pr Burret at all! He smiled at the memory of her horror-struck face, that evening... As if three points, after all those she had earned in lessons... But well... He had had to pretend not seeing a non-ameliorated-leaf from Charles, too make it explode, what had distracted her very slightly... Though Charles said he had made a really good job in potion about it, and it would be much less visible  by now... Yes, it seemed Albus wouldn't be obliged to pretend, next time a joke would be needed!   
Though, some sleep would have been very tempting... His appointment with Pr Siwell had been long and complicated... His Head of House seemed very worried about the security measures around the castle. Flying lessons for first years were not authorized yet, because of the risk one of them would lost control and fly out of the security limits... What if a plane saw them? And Quidditch balls were subsequently also forbidden, what really made the players mad... How were they supposed to train without real balls? But Pr Dippet, deputy Headmaster and Professor for Defence against the Dark Arts, had certainly not unfounded fears about it... Balls could escape, and then... who knows what would happen? ... Anyway after dealing with that, and the students that had surrounded him at lunch, wanting to know when they would be allowed to apply for the vacant posts in Quidditch teams, Albus was tired...  
But promised was promised, and at least Minerva's company was definitely not the worst he could have had to face, even at naptime. So he went down the stairs, in the Common Room.  
  
She was waiting for him at a table next to the little window, in a quite uncrowded part of the room, carefully reading her Transfiguration chapter again. He leant his Muggle Subject next to her transfiguration, and put smiling some dices out of his left pocket.  
She looked at it very doubtfully, as if not thinking that would become marbles or anything else with a simple wave of wand. Nevertheless, she still didn't seemed in a good state and as far as Albus was concerned, he didn't like it at all. But he didn't say anything, thinking it was perhaps not important, perhaps a bit personal, perhaps girl stuff... Well, above all thinking he didn't want to embarrass her.  
  
"Don't you need those dices, by the way?" she asked tentatively.  
He laughed  
"I think I'll be able to transfigure it back, you know!   
-Oh, yea, sorry..." She nodded.  
He was giving her a half-reproachful half-bemused and definitely weird look...  
"What?"  
His laugh burst out.  
"Oh ok, I've apologized once more for nothing, haven't I? ... Stop laughing Albus!"  
That was a joke between them that she always apologized too much when she didn't know what she was to say.  
  
She finally had really no problems with the transfiguration, just as Albus has suspected, and was even able to make it dices again, what made her quite proud.  
She transfigurated it a few time for practise and fun, as she said, while Albus began to get closely through his notes for the Muggle Essay about comparison between wizarding and muggle pets, and what could happen when they got mixed, and for example a non-magical owl was used for post.  
"Minerva, what colour are those cats muggles don't like?   
-Cats they don't like? Why wouldn't they like cats?   
-Oh, I'm sure I heard something about it...  
-Oh yea, wait, are you speaking about black cats?   
-Exactly, so what do they do with it if they don't want to own them? They can't just give them to the wizards living in their towns, can they?   
-Well, that's not that simple Albus... Not ALL muggles don't like them. By the way, some are just afraid because of some old superstition. But there is still a lot of muggle who are not superstitious!   
-Oh. Ok then. Just a superstition, and some actually own them and feed them and live with them and all?   
-'f course they does!"  
He returned to his homework and was about to begin his final redaction, when...  
  
"Albus?   
-Yea...  
-They're speaking of stuff you learn to transfigure to make it alive in that book  
-Yea, he answered absentmindedly  
-And in your book I saw you've learn also to transfigure an animal in another  
-Yea...  
-What if you transfigured a human being in... well... an animal for example...  
-Yea....... WHAT????  
-No, no...  
-That's strictly forbidden! D'you imagine if I made you a worm forever? What would you feel like?   
-But you could, couldn't you?   
-Not sure...  
-Well you can make a bird a fish, so why not me an animal?   
-Minerva what are you thinking of?   
-Nothing, really... nothing...  
-Not sure I could do that, by the way, quite difficult in fact to keep the mind in the body when you transfigure in a non-human figure...  
-Ok then...  
-Why all that? he frowned.  
-Nothing I told you... Just thought I'd love being a cat, and it remained me when you asked about them, cos' one of my neighbours has actually got a black one and I've always wondered what it would feel like being a cat, with him, and if I could speak with him, and... well, all that, you know...  
-Forget it then, I don't think I want to make you anything else than what you are!   
-Understood Albus... Was just dreaming..."  
She seemed unusually dreamy and a bit sad, indeed.  
"Imagine if you stayed forever with whiskers, after that? He said smiling, in order to distract her.  
-Yea, 'f course..."  
And with that she kept quiet. So he went back to his quill and ink.  
  
He was halfway in the parchment he had to fill, when he looked up and saw her. She wasn't working any more, and stared absentmindedly somewhere in thin air... It was more and more obvious that something was wrong.   
"Minerva?"  
He patted her gently on her forearm.  
She startled. "Yes?   
-What are you thinking of?   
-Nothing..."  
He gave her a searching look...  
"Minerva if it's none of my business just tell me, but I know there's something wrong and I just... well... I wonder..."  
She sighed and stood up to look out. He didn't know how to interpret that silence, nor if he was supposed to make further enquiry... Then he saw she was looking at the Quidditch Pitch, where the Hufflepuff Team was flying and practicing movements without balls, what was funny and quite pointless-looking. Soon they came back to the ground and Minerva turned back. Albus was still staring at her.   
  
Eventually he seemed to take a resolution, though, and spoke again:   
"D'you want to go and fly a little to change your mind a bit?   
-Can't fly, Albus...  
-Oh yes... right... Pr Siwell told me flying lessons would begin in October, though... Not much Muggle planes in fact, and... Well... You have to learn it somehow a day, don't you?   
-Yea... I expect you're right...  
-And since there's all that security stuff, groups will be smaller, so you'll certainly not be obliged to learn it with Slytherin, as we have had to most of the years..."  
At those words she definitely became grouchy.  
"I hate those Slytherin.  
-Do you ? he said feinting surprise.  
-Oh that's not funny, they're horrible with me!   
-I know they are.  
-You couldn't imagine how much!   
-Yes I can...  
-I just ignore them, well, I try, but they're so...  
-Slytherin?   
-What?   
-They're so... Slytherin, I said."  
She smiled.  
"Ok you're right, of course."  
  
Abandoning the idea of finishing his essay quickly, he stood up and put an arm on her shoulders. He knew she had been crying more than once this week because of them.  
"Still, wouldn't a fly on my broomstick distract you a bit?   
-Are you serious?   
-Oh yes I am... That is... If you want...  
-Is that allowed? she became suspicious  
-Well it's not expressly forbidden and won't be if we don't ask...  
-Albus, I'm serious, and you're Head Boy, should give example!   
-I didn't ask for that... And a fly could certainly do no bad, really...  
She growled  
-Go on, d'you want to go or not?"  
She seemed very tempted.  
"That's Ok then..."  
  
   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When they reached the grounds of the castle, he felt he had been right to take his cloak. It was a sunny day, but judging by the temperature just before the castle, at ground level, air wouldn't be warm higher. As there was some students lying there and chatting, he walked toward the lake, a bit further. Minerva eyed him suspiciously, as if hesitating to ask why he didn't want to fly in front of those students if it was really allowed, but thought better of it.  
  
Once they had cornered the great stain wall, Albus stopped, took his broomstick from over his shoulder, laid it on the floor, and said "Up!" ; it rose a few feet. (Dunno how many feet you're suppose to count in a meter!) He smiled, quite proud of his broom, a CleanSweep 1. The Cleansweeps were quite recent but a very promising line... Anyway better than the old school brooms!   
"So Minerva, after you...  
-Um... Where am I supposed to sit?"  
He laughed gently.  
"Well, depends if you want to be behind me or in front...  
-I suppose I prefer in front, if you hold me.  
-Ok miss, climb then"  
The broomstick flew a bit down as she approached it, just at her level. So she sat, both legs at the left side. Albus took her hand as the broomstick got higher, to help her keeping her balance. And then, he climbed behind her. His arms gently wrapped her as he took the front of his broom, and he catches her apprehensive look while he led his Cleansweep higher.  
  
She seemed positively bewildered, and as much as unable to speak. He flew toward the castle and made some loops around the towers. She was more and more huddling up between his arms, and only her head actually dared move, looking around madly with wide opened eyes... Albus finally stopped his broomstick in mid-air, to let her breath again, because it seemed to him she had stopped doing that for a little bit now, and that surely wasn't too good for her!   
"Albus....."  
He smiled, "Minerva?"  
"I... Oh God..."  
"Are you all right?   
-Yes I think so... though..."  
She breathed heavily that time, and he would bet her heart wasn't poking quite as usual !...  
"D'you want me to go down to the ground?   
-Oh no... I mean... If you don't mind, that is...  
-I do mind, though...  
-Oh..., she said in a shyly disappointed voice.  
-I mind being with you here, and I'd say I love it !  
-Albus!"  
He was laughing frankly  
"Don't laugh at me like that!   
-I don't, you little Firstie, I did love your eyes seven minutes ago, your ecstasies, and your way of huddling up against me as if I'd let you fall off that broom, and I really enjoy flying with a so gratifying passenger!"  
She blushed at the mention of the way she was climbing at him and intended to stop it, but she really felt as if she was going to fall! She gave a glance to what was under them, something she had carefully avoided by now, and suddenly shut her eyes, gasping and firmly gripping Albus. The 18-years-old boy seemed very bemused of her behaviour, and began flying gently through the sky. As he noticed she was trembling, he put his cloak around both of them and finally she just blinked slightly, and then opened her eyes a bit, and a bit more, and... She finished admiring the view.  
  
"What is that tower over there, Albus?   
-Astronomy Tower.  
-Oh. And this one there, not that big and with the pointed roof?   
-There? That's our Gryffindor Tower!   
-Really? Could we actually go and see through the Common-Room windows?   
-I think we can!"  
And he turned toward the middle of the round tower. Just then, she saw something glistening in the sky.  
"Albus, she said in a nearly panicky voice, what is that, in the sky?   
-Where? he asked, apparently quietly.  
-over there, I saw the sunlight reflected...  
-Oh that..." He sighed in relief. "It's the anti-muggle-plane-protection. It stops their radars and their bombs, in case they'd have ideas and come by here... So they can't see us more than the castle!   
-Yea, I read there were muggle-repelling charms all around it. I didn't read about that one, though.  
-No, it was just put on three years ago, when German planes began to pop around above the country...  
-Oh, yea, of course..."  
They were just next to their common room by now, and Charles saw them through the window and waved at them. Albus bowed and they moved away from this part of the castle.  
"I hate that war, added Minerva.  
-Well, we all...   
-You're right... I've a cousin soldier..."   
It seemed to him her voice was slightly shaking.   
"Oh, do you? ..."  
He felt some sort of urge to tell anything but to speak, not to let between them that stupid awkward silence which was dreading to set up.  
"They also called some muggle-born from Hogwarts to war in 1939, some 7-years... The Ministry had to help them getting ride of the army's administration. Cos' of course, if they want to be soldiers, they're much more useful fighting Grindewald, than the German Muggle Army...  
-That's horrible"   
Her voice was definitely broken this time.  
"What?   
-All that they did. This Muggle Furor, or whatever you call him, and Grindewald protecting him from espionage...   
-He's called Führer, in German, well 'f-u-h-r-e-r', I think.  
-Yea, that's it... You know that rumours about what he's doing in those 'camps'... And thinking one of our kind helps him with it... Such a shame...  
-Well I'm not sure we have to count Grindewald as one of our kind, you know!   
-yea, she sighed...  
-I'll do something against him, after the N.E.W.T.S.... I heard muggles were beginning to do a good job, but I don't think they will manage alone.  
-You'll fight as an Auror then?   
-No, I don't think so...  
-So what?   
-Don't know... But I'll see... Gather some friends I suppose... And just fight to kill him. Cos' without him his supporters wouldn't be worth anything... Well, that's my idea..."  
She stared at him. "That would be very dangerous, Albus  
-Yes, that will."  
She gave him an admiring expression.  
"And who will you ask?   
-Well, first there's Alastor, your friend Milane's brother... He wants to become an Auror, and that'd be a good mean to make him noticed... A start in his career, if your want..."  
He stopped, wondering if Minerva was being scared again, or if she just hugged him. But she didn't seemed in a suitable state to tell him. He decided their little fly must be at his end, and leaned toward the grounds just before the Great Entrance. He let her and himself on the stairs of the Entrance Hall and put his broomstick again on his shoulder.   
  
Minerva was still staring at the floor.  
"Minerva are you all right?   
-Yes", she said in a little shy voice, and then he realised she was sobbing.  
"Don't cry!   
-No-I... I-am... n-not cry-ing... she lied.  
-Just tell me what's wrong, will you?"  
He sat on the stairs, and made her do so, next to him. Then he put an arm around her, and she went on sobbing, her face hidden in his robe. It was obviously not his idea of a constructive chat, and he tried to comfort her. She should have been very touched by the war, he though, if only the mention of it made such an effect on her... Again he wondered what had been her previous years... There was something in this girl that wasn't to be there...   
"Just listen, I've seen since breakfast that something is wrong, you could just tell me. I wouldn't repeat to anyone... maybe I could help you?   
-I... I know you wouldn't repeat, she managed to say in one breath... But then... then... That's just... Oh Albus that's so absurd... I-I found something about my mother in that book...  
-What? The Modern History?   
-Yea, that one... At breakfast... Well I don't know if my father never knew, or if he didn't want to tell me... Always told me it was an accident...  
-What?   
-In a way in fact, it was an accident... About her death...  
-Yea?   
-She was in that list of wizards... You know, the Fifteen..."  
He tightens her very sharply. He had become very serious. The common-known as 'The Fifteen' were those 15 wizards Grindewald had killed nearly 10 years before, because they had accidentally menaced his rising power... That was those murders that had made him known, just as he began to work with that muggle-Hitler in Germany... Those 15 wizards had been killed nearly aimlessly, because they were somewhere they shouldn't have been... Wrong time and wrong circumstances... As it sometimes still happened in those days... Then he sighed.  
"So Minerva, I've one more reason to stop him. I'm sorry for your mother..." he added, "And sorry you had to learn it that way... If I'd paid attention to history I should have recognise your name...  
-You couldn't. Even if you knew the 15's names, she was called by her birth name, so you couldn't know... nobody could..."  
A quite heavy silence persisted in filling the gaps between their sentences.  
"Yea... I'm still really sorry for you..."  
  
She had stopped sobbing, and she wanted to write a letter about all that to her father and go to the owlery to post it before dinner. She was convinced he had never known, and surely was right. And he still had his Muggle-Essay he wanted to end. So they came back to the castle, wordless, as they walked side by side in the corridors toward Gryffindor.  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. 5 : Not a Cheerful Monday

**  
****5. Not a cheerful Monday  
**  
  
By Sunday, all First Years began to look forward to their flying lessons. Some had already mounted a broomstick, and most of those were repeating continually how wonderful it felt, how great they looked in the sky, and loads of other things, which didn't precisely fit with modesty. Those ones were impatiently waiting for their lessons, mostly because they wouldn't be allowed to fly before them to take place. The rumours that the Head Boy had announced they would take place before October had settled over the school like some sort of savage forest fire, and in the four Common Rooms, First Years were already speaking about nothing but it.  
Minerva, like a lot of others who were Muggle Born, or whose family had never let on a broom, was quite curious, but by the middle of afternoon, began to feel a bit apprehensive, and was soon bored with all the stories the others had to tell. A First Year Gryffindor, Phil, had began describing them his first time on a broom making it look like any muggle born's first time on a bike, what was probably quite near the reality, but was finally detailing to everyone who would accept to listen about some sort of natural cascader he was, and his lots of adventures on fabulous racing broomsticks, which, as far as Minerva was concerned, his family certainly never had owned.   
  
Well, everyone who would listen, at this point of the evening, was a rather non-enthusiastic Minerva, just after dinner in fact, walking with him toward the Common Room. She had decided to be nice. Really she had promised it to herself. Beside, she thought listening to his stories could distract her from what she had learnt about her mother. But that was becoming quite difficult by the time they had passed the portrait and settled in armchairs next to the fire, were two other First Years boys were already sitting, and began rivalling with Phil's story. Among those two was Matthew, a Muggle Born positively hanging at his friend's words, and Earnest. Earnest was from an old wizard family, but his father, a very unlucky and dreadfully clumsy man had had a traumatism with broomsticks the day he had fallen from one and made a twenty feet fly before colliding with the ground violently, and had ever since proscribed 'that horrible sort of highly dangerous stuff' from his house. He had learned Muggle-Driving, though, and could show with lot of proudness his wonderful acid green car with pink flowers... Minerva laughed at the mention of it, trying to represent herself the faces of muggles seeing this unbelievable vehicle among them. But as Earnest seemed quite annoyed that she laughed at him, she tried to hide it properly.  
"Oh but I've already mounted a broomstick, 'cos' my neighbours are also wizards, and their son let me fly with him sometimes.", he said.  
  
Minerva began fearing those boys would invent stories to impress her the whole evening, and wasn't really keen on spending hours listening to them, although the perspective of them pretending all to be genius and heroes was quite laughable. But then boys always made fools of themselves... Where was Albus by the way? ... She hadn't see him since lunch, and hadn't spoken with him since an eternity, well less than a day, but that was an eternity under those circumstances... How long are you supposed to bear loneliness when you've just learnt that your mother was murdered? ... Anyway she wouldn't be able to stand it much longer... Lost pieces of the conversation were still hitting her regularly.  
  
"You know that time I had to run and jump on my broom, to escape this enormous dog, and then, you should've seen me, how I went at full speed, you'd think I was a comet..."  
Phil knew really no limits to lying, she thought, intending again to spot Albus, which seemed to have mysteriously disappeared somewhere...   
Then Earnest couldn't bear any more this supposed superiority of his friend in front of the others.  
"But if you could just imagine what we lived with my neighbour..."  
Oh, there was Albus, climbing through the portrait hole, apparently coming from the library. They smiled at each other from far, her rather more desperatly and less cheerfully than him, while a Third-Year stopped the Head Boy for some piece of information.  
What were the boys still saying, by the way? Earnest had apparently finished his own story, and Phil had intended to make it look quite nothing in comparison to his own achievements. Well, she supposed so as she listened to them again, and Mattew was intending to prevent them from really quarrelling.   
Albus was passing them and his and Minerva's eyes crossed each other as he went toward dormitories.  
"You can't understand", Phil and Earnest finished both throwing at Mattew.   
Then Mattew went all red, glanced at Minerva, and unhappily saw she was fighting a laugh, which he took for him, although she hadn't followed their chat in the slightest. So he began exposing his own exploits, no matter they were muggle ones!   
What on earth was Albus doing?   
Mattew finished his story with a satisfied smile, and intended to analyse the result of it on his fellows.  
Minerva tried to assume a convinced look of admiration, although the only thing that was interesting her at the moment would come from the boy's staircase...  
Albus finally came back from his dormitory, without the books he had let there, and turned toward Minerva. He hesitated, though, as he saw Charles waving at him from the corner where he and Carola sat, and he seemed to fear he would disturb the First Years. Minerva gave him an insisting frowning sign, clearly begging him to come.  
The boys were discussing about the valour of wizarding and muggle achievements, as Albus reached their little group.  
"Sorry", Minerva said immediately, "I think I've to go!"  
Albus opened his mouth "Oh just if you want..."  
She frowned so much her eyebrows nearly touched her eyes.  
"You know, Albus, this stuff we have to do!", she articulated forcefully,  
"Oh yes, he caught on, yea that one... err, very important, indeed  
-Absolutely,  
-So you must come immediately,  
-Yea"  
And she jumped out of her sit without further politeness and led him out of earshot of the First Year Boys...  
  
"Albus where the hell where you? They were making up stories to impress each other, that was absolutely... well... absolutely...  
-Yea?   
-Unbearable!   
-Oh really?, he said meaningfully  
-What do you mean Albus with that nasty smile and that sarcastic 'Oh really?' ??  
-Well quite nothing, just when three boys intend to impress you, they just bore you, instead of flatting your ego, little Minerva!   
-They weren't... well... all right perhaps they were doing so, but... Boys are so... How can they always make fools of themselves?   
-Minerva please, I AM a boy!   
-Yea, of course you are, like I hadn't noticed... but you're just not the same..." She blushed, and went on a hurry, in order to stop him noticing her double-reddening because of both his notice about flattery and what she had just said: "What were you doing in the library anyway at such an hour? Don't you remember what you told me about not spending evenings there??  
-Stuff on Dragon Blood, not strictly homework by the way, but... some idea I had..."  
They stopped to sit with Charles and Carola.  
  
After a while the Seven Years' conversation turned on subjects not barely interesting for a First Year, and Minerva slowly but surely fell in a sort of somnolent state in which she just heard voices, and then... she yawned... and then... then she was falling asleep...  
Milane and Joyce, seeing her, shook her and said they were going to bed, where Lilian already was, so she followed them to the dormitory.  
  
*************************************************************  
  
On Monday morning, after a quick father's-letter-free breakfast with Milane, Joyce and Lilian, Minerva hurried toward her dormitory, because she had forgotten her quill and ink there, and then ran to catch up with them before the bell would ring. Fortunately she wasn't late, since she had made a lot of progress in orientating herself in the castle, after a week.  
  
She was strangely in a particularly good mood, not only because of her practice with Albus on Saturday afternoon, which assured her she would be brilliant on the first period (As if she needed it in transfiguration... Well... No comments...), but also because she felt quite calm. Her first week had passed in such a state of distress she could barely understand how she had managed through it. But now she had showed how good she was to all the teachers, and above all proved it to herself, now she had grown to know a little her classmates, and seen they weren't terrors who would loath and despise her, well except the Slytherin, but this morning she felt strong and even the Slytherins couldn't change it, even less in fact if you considered she wouldn't see them before Herbology on the afternoon. Now, she had affectively settled in the school, and had decided as she had opened her eyes in the morning, that she wouldn't be so strict with herself any more, she wouldn't spend her whole evenings studying, she wouldn't die with work... And she would take some time for herself and some hindsight toward classes and everything else.  
  
Well, that was more easily said than done, and to tell the truth it was only the result of an hours-long insomnia of the previous night, in which she had had time to remake her world, from her attitude toward her mother's death to her schoolwork. But anyway... For the moment, just before her first lesson, she still was in entire adequation with her new principles.  
As she entered the Transfiguration classroom, she saw that Pr Diggory was already there. She settled next to Milane, on 1st row, and took her quill and ink out. She looked for her transfiguration roll of parchment in her bag, and finally found it and unrolled it on her table. She laid her wand next to it and waited, politely sitting on her chair, while the other students chatted animatedly. Well, some hindsight didn't mean she had to totally let her hair down, did it? But instead of keep worrying for her future performance, as she would have done a week before, she stared curiously at Pr Diggory. He was sitting silently behind his desk, his head in his hands and apparently reading the parchment on it. Yet Minerva felt quite sure he wasn't reading at all. Indeed he didn't move when the bell rang, nor did he say anything. After two minutes, some children were beginning to glance awkwardly at him, and Minerva wondered if he wasn't asleep, though he didn't seem to, and if they weren't supposed to make him take notice he was to begin the lesson.  
Then he stood up, the class became quiet and some eyeings show the deception of most of the students, who had obviously hoped he wouldn't teach them that day, or at least the pause wouldn't be over so quickly. Minerva on the contrary, felt quite relieved, although Pr Diggory seemed definitely not himself, she couldn't help noticing. Well, he seemed just like some bit of herself she had thrown away as far as she could from her conscious self... The part that couldn't help being deliberately depressed...  
  
Yet he began his lesson as if there was nothing peculiar, and most of the children forgot immediately the small setback. When he passed through the class to hand out dices, Minerva took advantage of it to get a closer look at him. He had unusual circles under his eyes, eyes that by the way seemed to her suspiciously red, but then, perhaps that particular point was her imagination... She focused her mind all the same on the lesson, and had soon some marbles rolling on her desk. At the fifth one, Pr Diggory accorded 10 points to Gryffindor with an absent-minded "Well done, Minerva", and told her she could make them dices again, because he hadn't any more of them. When he saw her hand up 40 second after, to ask him what she was to do with the five dices she had now, he seemed to finally realise she was there, which gave him such a strange sort of look after 30 minutes of lesson that Minerva wondered what she had done so bad. But then he approached, took them, "15 points to Gryffindor", and told her to just help poor Mattew, who was apparently not having the trip of his lifetime. Though, as she stood up to go toward her classmate, Pr Diggory turned back. "Oh, and Miss McGonagall..." She stared back at him. "That was a good job", he said rather sadly, "You're a brilliant student." She stayed a while astounded both at the greatly unusual and flattering, and -in her mind- exaggerated compliment, and at his half-depressed tone... And she wasn't so sure it was actually HALF depressed... She went and helped Mattew - "No, think it more like a sphere, if you focus your mind on a circle, it'll definitely stay flat" - still wondering what could make a professor so over gentle and so sad when he said to a student he or she did her work good... All her thoughts leading to the conclusion that he was just really not in a good state this morning, and, she concluded after some glances, also not totally with them.  
  
Though when the lesson ended, she had no time to let her mind wander after him, because Peeves tried to make her late to her charm lesson by scaring her so that she would let her bag fall and split off... And then she ran toward Pr Siwell's classroom, pulled herself back, and her mind on the test waiting for them there ("Theory of the levitating Charm: Pronunciation and exercise of your force of mind"), as a follow to their first lesson which had been about it. So she had half-forgotten the beginning of her day as she reached the Great Hall for lunch with Milane and Joyce. And by the evening, she was merely too concerned about the previous horrible Herbology lesson to think about it again. Not that she had problems in herbology, well, not really, but Pr Doyle seemed to have decided he would pass the year breathing under her neck, and bothering her, looking for the slightest error she'd do, what was bound to happen when he kept deconcentrating her that way! Although as Joyce pointed out in a whisper during history of magic, he wasn't to do that for one year, but for the whole seven years he would teach them... Lilian, more cheerful, simply supposed he would take interest in another Gryffindor when he would realise Minerva was not the one he would most be able to shout at... Which Minerva forced herself to believe, since her impression that he found her much more enjoyable to morally belittle than the others couldn't be anything but mere paranoia... Well, that's what she was trying hard to believe...  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
So with all that, when she finally saw Albus enter the Common Room, after Dinner, she had to restrain herself from jumping toward him and telling him about the whole lot. But as she more quietly waved, he didn't seem to notice. She would perhaps have been hurt if she had thought he had ignored her purposely, but he didn't answer either to Charles and Carola and took and armchair for himself. As he eventually saw Charles, he looked at him sadly and signified he just wanted to be left alone. Charles hesitated, but Carola seemed to stop him from standing. Seeing that, Minerva supposed it'd be no good to go and speak to Albus... But still, his mood seemed lower than she had ever seen it... But Carola and Charles knew him better, and if they thought he had to be alone... Still, she would have wanted company, if she were he, although she would perhaps have shown the contrary... But Albus wasn't her, and that was a bit complicated to...  
"Minerva?"  
She started. That was Lilian, who was obviously trying since a minute or two to ask her something.  
"Yea?   
-Are you all right? Milane interrupted  
-Yea, just thinking...  
-What are those yellow flowers of the 2nd Greenhouse called, again?   
-Sunflowers Lilian, they're quite common Muggle flowers...  
-Yea, yea... and what d'you make of it? Oil?   
-Yea..."  
Lilian went back to her Herbology work, and Minerva to Alb... But Milane stared smiling at Minerva:   
"What were you thinking of, Minnie?"  
She sight.  
"Nothing and don't call me that way, I told you...  
-Why?"  
Joyce laughed.  
"What?" repeated Milane.  
"It's a mouse of a Muggle Cartoon, Minnie I mean,  
-Oh, ok... so what about Mina?   
-Why have you got to find me a surname?   
-'cos' you're definitely not an Olympian! So it'll be Mina!   
-Shouldn't have told you it was the name of a Goddess..."  
But Minerva went quiet, letting Joyce explain about Mickey and Minnie to Milane. She was glad Milane had forgotten her question about what she was thinking of... She wouldn't have been keen on telling her about it...   
Come to that, she definitely couldn't let Albus alone that way. She couldn't stand staying without him either, by the way.  
  
So she rose and slowly walked to Albus, unconsciously ignoring Milane's bemused glance and the later jokes it would cost her. She settled in an armchair she had pushed toward him (she still hadn't learnt summoning charms, although she projected to do that before 4th year, when she would be supposed study it in charm, because it was so useful for everyday life...)   
"Where have you been before?   
-Head Boy appointment" he answered laconically and still glancing in nowhere.  
She felt awkward in front of his deliberate lack of talkativeness, and began to understand what Carola had thought.  
The moment she decided to talk again, a note appeared just next to the portrait hole, neatly pinned to the wall, which emitted a "ouch" as it came in it.   
Instantly, all the students raised their heads to it, and the first years were the first to gather around it, to read.  
They heard whispers from the ones which still couldn't see: "Perhaps it's the Flying lessons", "oh let us go", and then "you've seen already", "Can't you read properly or are you learning it by heart?!", they became impatient, because the others definitely didn't wanted to move, or didn't seem able either.  
"Come on Albus, do we go to read it?   
-No, we don't."  
She stared curiously.  
"Well it could be important, no?   
-It is, Minerva...  
-Would you just tell me...  
-I'm not sure I would... Perhaps you'd better not know...  
-Err...  
-Pr Diggory will be absent this week...  
-Well, that's a good news, isn't it?   
-Because he has family problems..."  
Then she remembered him from the morning, and instantly felt ashamed she could have enjoy the perspective of his absence...  
"How d'you know it?   
-That was my head Boy appointment..  
-Oh, well, is it that serious?   
-It is-  
Milane came back running and told to Joyce and Lilian: "Pr's Diggory's boy... They say he's... it's... he's had an accident... Oh well, can't say it, go and read..."  
There was a very strong silence as Albus, Minerva, Milane, Joyce, Lilian, and a group of fifth years not far from them all went quiet. Then one of those spoke: "He's dead"  
  
It was five minutes before Minerva talked again, and then a chatting burden, although quite awkward and strange, had refilled the room...  
"Albus...  
-yea...  
-What did they told us it for?   
-What?   
-That... I mean, it's a private matter, isn't it?   
-I told them I wouldn't be able to talk you all into being respectful and gentles if you didn't know something so serious happened, and Professor Diggory didn't wanted it secret... Anyway it'll be in the newspapers… So there was no point of hiding it... Well that's what Headmaster Neminos though, all the same...  
-Oh... Well... Was it that baby Carola talked of?   
-No, he had 4 boys and a girl and it was one of the elder's boys I think... He was 9...   
-Oh God... didn't know he had such a family...  
-Neither did I. Doesn't speak of it much...  
-No."  
Minerva definitely couldn't find anything to say, and didn't wanted to break into tears or any other hysterical burst of emotion just there, in front of all those people that all behave themselves... Yet a considerable amount of them was going up to their dormitory suspiciously early...  
"Were there a lot of people at your... well... Head Boy Appointment...?   
-Heads of Houses, Headmaster and Pr Diggory... And the Head Girl and me...  
-I supposed that was a nasty stuff, that sort of meeting...  
-In that sort of circumstances....  
-...  
-It was...  
-Did they pin it in the four Common Rooms?   
-Yea... Well No, Pr Cora went herself to tell the Hufflepuffs...  
-Their Head of House?   
-Yea, and flying Professor...  
-Oh... Good then..."  
Silence was stubbornly taking advantage of all the gaps in the conversation to settle over their chat, and not leave it any more...   
"Well, I'll go to bed, I think...  
-Yea... I'll soon do that too..."  
She stand, though her steps were not so certain, and went... but she turned, kissed Albus on the cheek,   
"Good Night"  
He tried a sort of sad forced smile:   
"Have good... well have the best dreams you can...", and she left.  
  
********************************************************  
  
It seemed to her an eternity was going as she took her pyjama, went to the bathroom, washed her teeth... tried to brush her hair... That'd never finish... And when all that was over, she could only regret it was, and she now had to lie still in her bed, trying hard not to think... Wondering why in earth, why she had to be alone in that very moment... Wishing Albus was her brother, because she thought then he would have come and looked for her before she fell asleep... And then thinking he was probably not much better than her and finding herself egoistic... Wishing her father was there and then recording he had never been that good at cheering his daughter... But still, he would just be there and that would be better, she thought... Any other company than Lilian sobbing at the other end of the dormitory would have been better... Was it a topic of the wizarding world, that all those horrible things like deaths and murders had to happen so often? ... She wasn't sure she liked it... But no, it had to be just hazard and unluck. It had to. Was Albus already in his bed? Was he feeling like her? ...  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. 6 : Back to

**6. Back to "normal"**

  
  
After that quite difficult beginning of the week, though, things seemed to improve rather encouragingly. For once, Albus and Minerva took the cheerful habit to go to a walk together every afternoon after their lessons, which Minerva also considered as part of her secret resolutions to live a bit instead of always working... Of course it cost them some jokes from Charles, but he would have to stop when it would bore him... What Minerva didn't know, though, was the attempts from Charles to pry seriously in his friend's feelings...  
  
Albus would never forget the mad laughter that had took him when he had realised what Charles intended to imply... Well to imply, with his well-known lack of tact, had been quite direct!   
"Albus, you're not... you're not in love, are you?   
-With whom would I be in love?   
-Oh, don't know... Just... well... a question, just... to know...  
-So... No, I'm not in love."  
Yet the question was curious.  
"Well, and how do you find this Minerva?"  
He had raised his head for the 2nd time from the book he had been reading...  
"Charles! She's my friend, what are you up, to ask such questions?   
-Nothing I told you... you just... well, you like her _very _much... err... you love her, don't you?   
-Yea, you could say that... You could say I'm quite fond of her... or you could just say, simply, shortly, that we are friends. As I told you about three minutes ago!   
-Oh... Just friends?"  
Then he had realised what Charles was meaning... And in fact he really wondered how he hadn't seen it since 10 minutes, because it was so obvious... Well he supposed he had been distracted because he had been desperately trying to read!… Oh and all right, his difficulties to concentrate on anything since he had known of Pr Diggory's boy were certainly also responsible for that…  
What a surprising idea, though! When he understood, it took him a while to finally get rid of his laugh and summon enough seriousness to speak again. It was indeed his first laughter since Monday afternoon, and although it was just on Tuesday evening in the dormitory, just before their sleeping night, Albus rarely spent one whole day without a laugh or a happy smile, so he had had a lot of nervousness to expulse in it, which didn't help to stop.  
"Yes, he had said loudly, yes, just friends, what did you expect? She's a 1st Year, remember? A child, a... whatever, you're being stupid!   
-Not the 1st time I'm stupid Albus, but still... I just wanted to be reassured  
-So now you are"  
Well, he hadn't meant to be dry, but the prospect of Minerva being his girlfriend was so ridiculous, and then... well, it was ridiculous, he told himself, and became even more irritably because he felt as if he could have thought a semi-second that possibly, later, perhaps... Well, that was stupid. Charles' effect, obviously.  
And so he had returned to his book.  
  
What Albus didn't know was that Milane had had approximately the same idea, though a bit later, on Wednesday evening, after their second little excursion, near the lake...  
They had been in the dormitory, intending to relax and to forget the awkwardness that accompanied everyone everywhere, and Milane had taken her more secret-girl-looking face, which was saying something, to ask Minerva with a giggle...  
"So it's becoming an habit to go and walk on the grounds... isn't it?   
-Yes, I fear you'll soon have to be used to it...  
-With Albus... isn't it?"  
Then Minerva had glanced searchingly, catching on much quicker with Milane than Albus with Charles.  
"Yes, she had said. With Albus.  
-How romantically it must be...  
-It would certainly be if it was with a _boyfriend_, I suppose...  
-Oh Mina, stop it, I know you just adore him!   
-Yea... And he's seven years older than me" she had said calmly.  
"But he's...  
-He's a 7th Year, and Head Boy, and...-  
-and handsome, and intelligent, and gentle...  
-Yes, Minerva tried to admit rationally, he is, so...  
-So?   
-So he'll never be my boyfriend!   
-Oh don't tell me you wouldn't want!   
-That's not possible, Milane, forget it...  
-But still, wouldn't you like it, if...  
-Stop it Milane!" Oh for the heaven's sake, she HAD sounded defensive... As if... As if... Nonsense! Albus was Albus and if Milane wanted to believe such foolish stuff...  
"Milane, don't look at me like that!   
-What?   
-I'm not a stupid romantic heroin, he's actually _just _my friend!   
-Yes, he is, she had nodded grinning,  
-And I AM content with it.  
-Yes, you are"  
Then Joyce had come in, and Milane had left to the bathroom, though Minerva suspected it was just to laugh without her to become a fury.  
She tutted. That was absurd.  
  
But in fact both Charles' and Milane's jokes were really welcome those days, like everything else that would appease the ambience within the Common Rooms, the Great Hall, the lessons... within Hogwarts, in fact. Nobody among the students had ever seen Pr Diggory's boy, or even heard of him, but his death seemed to put a very awkward feeling in each of them, just as the one Minerva felt. Nobody could actually stay indifferent, not even those students who tried to pretend so, not to feel concerned… Especially when they had learnt it was Grindewald's work... Pr Diggory's family lived in Germany, they learnt; well, they had lived there until then, because Pr Diggory had decided they would move away to England, since Germany was apparently no longer a safe country.   
By the way, Joyce, who didn't know about floo powder, didn't understand how he could have accepted a job so far from his family... It took about half-an-hour to tell her all the numerous manners a wizard had to travel to whichever point of earth in no time, from apparating to floo network, passing by portkeys.  
They learnt most of what they came to know by the Daily Prophet. Although the paper usually didn't take interest in foreigner news, this time the murder of five wizards children amongst which was Pr Diggory's boy had caused such a wave of indignation that it was all over the news for the whole week... Family's interviews, children's biographies... Loads of description of the event itself, how it was supposed to have happened... It became a habit in Gryffindor tower to throw the papers in the fire after reading them, so that none would stay on the floor, offering their depressing first pages to innocent Gryffindors passing and trying to keep themselves happy.  
  
That was partly why Albus and Minerva had gone out the first times, in fact, to escape this insufferable oppressing atmosphere of the castle... And then it did so much good to be able to sit next to Albus each evening and to discuss whatever they had to discuss... On Thursday, the awkwardness in the castle had begun to calm down, although some grim faces could still be seen, especially wandering in corridors, and occasionally glaring at those who were still able, or able again to laugh normally and spontaneously. Yet, Albus and Minerva went out, next to the lake, like the previous day, and sat under a tree, in front of a lazily moving tentacle of the giant squid...  
  
They hadn't spoken since they had left the castle.  
  
Then Minerva moved nearer to Albus and leant against him.  
He didn't move, only raised an arm and patted her on the shoulder.   
  
After a while he spoke.  
"Charles would be half-paralysed with laugh if he saw us now"  
She smiled.  
"Yea. So would Milane, by the way.  
-Milane?   
-She's be teasing me no end about you, thinking... well... just like Charles in fact...  
-So we've got to hope they'll not marry us without our consent..."  
They had to laugh at that.  
  
"Anyway, she said, I don't really mind their jokes...  
-I don't either, I think they even know it's not true.  
-No, it's not that. Well, ok, there's that, but also... just... they make me laugh and I need it a lot those days..."  
He stared at her with concern.  
"Must be a really difficult time, for you...  
-As for everybody.  
-More... first what you read on Saturday, and then that..."  
She glanced at him shortly: "You can speak of my mother directly Albus, that's ok.  
-Oh... All right then..."  
They became silent.  
  
Then Albus saw an owl that looked much like Griphook, and it reminded him:   
"Did you become your dad's answer, by the way, about... about your mother?   
-No... You've got to count two days for the trip, though, and then two days the other way, and I suppose dad has to take a bit time between, before he can answer, as it certainly comes as a little bit of shock, so...  
-Is it that far, where you live?   
-Well, no, not really... I think in fact it mustn't be further than 400 miles, perhaps... I'm not sure, well, depends on where exactly we are... But Griphook is just still an owlet, so he keeps losing his way. We bought him just last summer because I had to come to Hogwarts, so now he can carry my letters. The man in the shop told us he would become a very good post owl after some months, though...  
-Oh... Good..."  
Then they were interrupted by a loud screech. That was Griphook, very proud of himself because he had finally found his addressee, after having searched the Common Room, the Library and, for some strange owlish reason, the owlery.  
  
"No, I've got nothing for you here, Griphook, sorry", she said, trying to deliver the letter –no pun intended- imprisoned by a large amount of unnecessary knots.  
"Stay still, please"  
She finally succeeded and took the letter in a triumphant gesture.  
"So, go to the owlery Griphook, and I'll come and visit you later, ok?"  
The owlet growled in disapproval, but finally accepted to leave.  
"You're cruel with your pet, Minerva, Albus said smiling  
-Yes I know, that's what my father says, but I must balance his way of spoiling him. You should see how he treats him! You would think he's a baby, or a little prince, or whatever..."  
Albus laughed, and she opened her letter.  
She scanned it quickly.  
"I'll read it carefully later, it's ok, no surprising news, she told Albus... Though he has obviously known from the Daily Prophet about Grindewald and those children... doesn't seems to know Pr Diggory teaches here... Curious he didn't read it in the Daily... Surely he didn't even read it carefully, must find it boring...  
-Why boring?   
-He's a muggle Albus! That's not really his world, so..."  
He chuckled.  
"Yea, right... How comes he receives it, though?   
-We took a subscription last summer. He wanted to be informed, since I would come and... Well, in a way, I live in this world now. So he wants to keep in touch with it, you know.  
-Oh"  
  
The sky was darkening, so they came back in, no much time after, and Minerva could read her letter. There was nothing special in it, but letters from home were always reassuring, like something to grab, not to dwell in that strange, difficult world she had to live in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lil, wake up!" 

No answer.

"LIL'!!"

Still nothing… a groan…

"Milane! came a sleepy voice from the depth of a pillow, why on earth are you yelling at us at this hour of the morning on a Saturday?"

Milane laughed.

"What? the same voice asked quite briskly, why are you laughing?"

"Well, it's not that early, Min', it's half nine!

-Half nine? You're joking, aren't you?

-Naa…"

   Minerva's curtains were pulled opened. She spotted the responsible for the trouble, sat on her bed, hugging her pillow, and Lilian's snores told her one of them still wasn't awoken… Though she wondered how Lilian could sleep through that racket… Never mind,

"Where's Joyce, anyway?

-She's had an early breakfast, and she went for a walk with Dedalus Diggle this morning…

-Oh…, she acknowledged quietly… WHAT? She went for a _what_ with _whom_?

-Calm down, Min', they're not marrying! … yet!

-Thanks, that's calming! And you didn't even tell me?

-Well, you were out there, again, flirting with Albus!

-Oh I wasn't! And you know it!

-Yea, 'f course I know… but it's funny the way you can become as red as the curtains…"

Minerva threw her pillow at her, and Milane threw herself in response, on Minerva, with their two pillows in her hands…

"Arggh!!!" "Stop it!" "GRMPH" "Nooo" "Oh! No tickle, That's not fair" "Yiip" "GRAW"

  Lilian opened an eye. What was that whole noise about?

"PFIOU" "HMPH" "OH NO! NOT AGAIN!!" "TCHCHCH"

  She opened her second eye, stretched herself and yawned. The dormitory was bathed in hot light coming from the East window, which reflected on Lilian's red bed curtains… A peaceful morning in a peaceful tower… wouldn't it be for those two fury not far from her, just behind the curtain…

"YOU SILLY…" "AHHHH" "GOT YOU" "GNACH"

  What were they doing on Minerva's bed?… She deepened her head in the pillow, under the sheets… still no silence… She tried again… No, she couldn't get back to sleep in that uproar. So she unwillingly half sat against the corner of her bed, and partially opened her curtains… and stayed shocked at the point of view she had on the scene… 

  Telling whose arm was which and whose leg seemed to her much more difficult than identify their voice… Then perhaps it was the early hour and her state of half-sleep… yea, it would be that…

"Hey, Minerva?, she tried to articulate, Err… Milane? Any problem?"

They both stopped at the same time, Milane's arm in the air, Minerva's jaw still open… There was a silence, and Lilian stared at them in disbelief… Obviously that was curious, and it had nothing to do with her own degree of wakefulness. 

    She exchanged a glance with Minerva. Then Minerva and Milane looked at each other. The silence became heavy… And all three of them exploded in an uncontrolled laugh.

"So, what was that about? Lilian finally asked when she got her breath back, five minutes at least after,

-Well, I see we awoke you, at least! Milane just woke _me_ up, trying to yell at you!

-That can explain the situation?

-By the way, did you know Joyce was on the ground with a _boy_, this morning?, Minerva went on, ignoring her question,

-Yea, I know… That Hufflepuff…" she seemed to scan her memory "What's his name, again?

-Dedalus Diggle, he was on the boat with Milane and me, on the first day… Milane just told me!

-Yea, yea… Is she already at breakfast?, Lilian asked,

-Well… Milane wants us to believe it's half nine…

-It is!" Milane repeated energetically,

Lilian yawned again.

"Half nine?

-Well, rather a quarter to ten now, to be precise…

-Oh, I can't believe it, where went the night? I feel like I've slept 4 hours or less… Lilian complained.

-I don't know… I feel like I haven't slept properly since a week, Minerva said,

-Me either" Milane added…

They made silence… Each of them knew why they hadn't slept too well.

"That's that awkward atmosphere in the castle, since… since Monday…, Minerva pointed out,

-Yea, it's creepy" Lilian agreed

Nobody seemed about to laugh any more,

"Come on, stop it girl, we're not going to keep wailing… we've got to find something funny to do! … It's Saturday!"

But nobody seemed to care about Saturday and funny stuff…

"He comes back on Monday… What do you think the first lesson will be like that morning?" Minerva wondered aloud.

Nobody answered, no one seemed to even want to come near any answer to that.

"Ok… I'll take the bathroom", Minerva said, and she got up. "I've got that homework of potion to do… I'll be in the Library later, if you want to catch on with History of magic" it had been Minerva's week of taking notes in pr Binns' lessons.

Minerva opened the door of the bathroom.

"Don't you plan to eat? None of us have had breakfast! Perhaps we can catch something if we hurry?" Milane suggested.

"Not hungry, somehow" And she stepped in the bathroom. On for a whole day of homework.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    That evening, Minerva's and Albus' steps led them to the Quidditch Pitch. They made small talk, and sat. Albus even put warming charm on them, so that they wouldn't freeze…

 "Isn't Quidditch very dangerous, Albus?

-Quite, quite… 

-Oh…

-But all sports are, aren't they? he said, his smile back in place,

-Yea, perhaps… you're right of course…"

She became silent, and looked at the sun, slowly setting down… The breeze was a bit cold, but she didn't mind, most thanks to Albus' charm… Why couldn't moments like this last until ever… Albus big brotherly presence seemed to protect… No, more than just protect. He seemed to understand, to know what she told him…

"Albus?

-Yea…

-We'll have him first, on Monday morning"

He looked like he knew what she was talking about, for which she felt very grateful.

"Yes, you will."

She sighed.

"I don't look forward to it.

-Of course not, he said seriously… Who would?"

She hesitated.

"You know…  the others don't look like it bothers them…

-Oh… Don't they?…"

She shook her head.

"You know, he said, I think they just don't want to think of it. They try to forget…

-That's silly! She felt a bit snappy at her classmate, with whom she had been unable to share her apprehension all day.

-Is it?

-They'll have to get on with it, in the end…

-Yes, obviously.

-So why do they refuse?

-Do you think they're aware of it?"

She didn't answer.

He took a deep breath, and sighed.

"You know, Min', I guess it's a way to handle it, not to realize until it stands just in front of you

-I wish I could, then.

-Don't.

-They're happier, you told it yourself…

-I don't know… It looks like a strength, to be aware of it, doesn't it?"

She noticed that the sun was now touching the earth, on the horizon. And she let a playful smile briefly fly on her lips…

"Albus?

-Yea?

-Milane is drowning on you…

-Why? He questioned,

-You called me 'Min'…"

He chuckled, and she smiled at him.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The following Monday was definitely the day Professor Diggory was to come back, in everybody's mind. Not just a Monday, not the equinox (though it was), but _his_ return… Most of the student and the staff around Minerva had found again a normal behaviour during the Weekend. Some of them had slept to forget, others discussed, other daydreamt, analysed, anything… But each one had approximately found his way out of it. The shock was over. She suspected that the thoughts had stayed in everyone's mind, however, just like in hers, sad, depressing, not that far from the surface, and could emerge at any moment, for most often no apparent reason. Touching someone in the middle of a sentence, of a word, of a laugh, making everything die with their appearance, and bringing contagion for everyone who saw their owner, rapidly. Because no one ignored what could catch a cheerful mind in no time and make the happiness die. But generally, if you didn't count that continual Damocles' sword, the Hall was back to normal on Sunday evening… well, to what he usually was, if you could call it normal! 

    Nobody really looked forward to their first lesson with Pr Diggory, though, and the First Year Gryffindor, being the first on Monday morning first Period, felt a real apprehension about it. Not that they weren't genuinely happy to have their Professor back… But you couldn't say the conditions were the best on earth. As they all finally had to check their notes on Sunday afternoon, so that they wouldn't have forgotten all the basics they had had to learn, they all had to realize, like Minerva, that they would face this lesson, with their well known Professor, who somehow seemed not to be their known Professor any more, but a total frightening stranger. And awkwardness settled. Again. They wanted to be kind and helpful with him, and natural, not to add to this shock he had already had. But still, it wouldn't be easy. So on Sunday evening, they went to Dinner without the playful manner first year usually seemed to radiate at Hogwarts… The whole lot of them seemed to have regressed to the state the entire castle had got through on Tuesday morning, which was saying something. They were all more or less sat together, at the Gryffindor table, and a lot of people, Minerva noticed, seemed to eye them with compassion… As if thinking on why they found it so difficult to pass over it. Perhaps it was their age… Perhaps the fact that they would be the first to meet him back… Most certainly the combination of both. And the fact that Pr Diggory was eating at the Staff Table undeniably didn't help either. But anyway they were depressively apprehensive.

    When the dessert appeared, though, Headmaster Neminos stood up.

"Ehem… Just a few words, please, before you throw yourself on the chocolate cake. Boys, girls… The professors and I wanted to express our awareness of the difficult times we all have to go through. As I hope you are all informed, we are here to help you if you feel it necessary to talk… To any of us." At this Pr Burret made a sceptic face, and several Staff members Minerva didn't know glared at the Headmaster in such a way that it was very clear they didn't want, on the top of their own problems, all the school in their studies to discuss psychological difficulties. "Well, I also wanted to express to Pr Diggory, back among us, our sincere collective condolences, to which I'm sure all of you contribute, and our deep compassion… Thanks for your attention."

    Several Sixth Year Ravenclaw rose silently, then some Hufflepuff, lots of Gryffindor, and soon nearly the whole Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables had stood up, along with most of the Gryffindor and numerous Slytherin. Some of them stared at their feet or the table, Minerva noted, but lots of them, like her, had their eyes turned on their Professor.

    This one scanned the Hall. Then he simply nodded, but a weak smile played on his lips, making his tired face nearer to life, and he mouthed a thanks. So they all sat, still silent. Their eyes started to meet each other again, and they recalled why they were there. Their chocolate cake, still waiting for them, looked very appetizing, indeed, and cheered them up a bit. 

     Soon, a quiet noise of chatting had filled the Great Hall again.

    You still couldn't say the students were impatient to return to their transfiguration lessons, but that could help, especially for those who should have been the first to see him back. That first contact to the school had somehow discharge them of a great part of the pressure, even if it concretely didn't changed anything. Or so Minerva thought, nodding off in an armchair this evening, next to the fire again, while Albus, Alastor and Carola discussed an article of the Daily Prophet that seemed to worry the boys very much.

                                                              ***

    Wow, that was difficult to write. Really need your opinion, this time… It was difficult for me to describe the collective reaction. I had to live that sort of event once, though the person who died was actually a student we all knew quite well… And I tried to recall what it was like but… You know, there was that strange kind of fog which always seems to bath all the painful events we lived through… Was it Ok? Not too complicated or intricate? Please, review!!!


	8. 7 : Gryffindor nerves

Sorry for the time it took me to upload. I had other things to write, and then I had an accident (yea, just during the summer break... see how lucky I am??) and was stuck in hospital for a week, in no state to write, I can promise! But now I have to stay at my parents' for a month, and I can't move or walk or do anything else than work or write or read... or play chess, but I'm a beginner chess player!... So I'll have time to go on with this story! Anyway are reviewers all in holiday? I thought I begged you to tell me what you think at the end of the last chapter I posted? Pleaeaease?  
  
  
7. Gryffindor nerves.  
  
It was Monday evening, in the Gryffindor Common Room. Albus had settled himself in a chair, near the window. He hadn't seen Minerva all day, which wasn't surprising since she had had a very busy day. So he was waiting for her. The light was beginning to fade outside, so they wouldn't have their daily walk that evening, but that didn't forbid them to speak. He observed the flames dancing under the mantelpiece, projecting moving lights in the entire room, changing Gryffindor red in burning orange. Over there was Gladys Potter, a fourth year, playing chess with a classmate. Albus wasn't very familiar with her; he just knew she had a brother named Jack, a very nice little boy. Her classmate was hidden in the shadow, but he still could recognize Mary O'Connon, another fourth year. In another corner was a group of second years. Indeed, the Common Room was unusually quiet for this hour of the evening. Most of the student had been late to dinner, for a reason he ignored, and so were still down there.  
Finally, students arrived, by groups of two or three, chatting, through the portrait hole. Albus saw them fill the room, little by little, occupying in priority the places near the fire. Two pupils were apparently flirting there. Albus wasn't cold, though. He was dreaming. More precisely, musing on his future. Carola and Charles had teased him once again because he had never had a girlfriend, and though he usually didn't give a thought to that sort of worry -"It will come when it's time to"- he sometimes, rarely, wondered when that time will be. What if he never, ever found anybody with whom he would like to found a family?... The ceiling definitely didn't want to answer to him, so he stopped staring at it, and let his eyes wander for a minute... until he saw Minerva come in, which shut his thoughts down. He sight, while she headed to him. She looked all right.  
"Hi, Minerva, I was beginning to think you'd never come!  
-Hi, I was eating.  
-Why so late? I saw everybody stayed out longer today..."  
She sat.  
"Really didn't you hear? She said in an unconvinced tone.  
-No, what?"  
She eyed him very suspiciously.  
"So nobody told you? You didn't see?  
-Uh uh...  
-There were centaurs on the grounds!  
-Centaurs? Aren't they supposed to be very solitary creatures?  
-Never mind, they're beautiful! Professor... err... Can't recall her name, but anyway the Divination teacher invited them, I don't know what for about Hufflepuff advanced lessons...  
-Oh..."  
She did looked very excited.  
"Though she did tell us to let them alone, but...  
-Yea, you wouldn't stop staring... Anyway, I don't think she actually hoped you would! Bringing centaurs in and asking you not to look at them..." he smiled playfully.  
"Oh, you know, they're beautiful! she exclaimed again,  
-Amazing creatures, yes, I know" He replied calmly.  
"I can't believe you missed it!"  
He chuckled: "I'll survive, really"  
"But Albus, she pleaded, they are...  
-Astounding? Gorgeous? Incredible?  
-...  
-I did see a centaur in my third year, you know...  
-Oooo...  
-But I'm sure I'll get by on not having seeing them today"  
She rolled her eyes.  
"Ok, ok, you're right... But it was worth being late at dinner!  
-I suppose it was." He paused. "How was your day, anyway?  
-Oh... My day... Well... began... err, specially, but then the remainder was ok...  
-And what was the beginning like?"  
Albus hadn't had transfiguration yet.  
"Like someone who's just lost a child" came the answer.  
"True... Sorry, I was prying."  
She raised her eyebrows and smiled at him.  
"You weren't. It's ok." She took her breath. "Can't we just go somewhere else? I always feel like everybody's listening to us when we're here"  
He laughed.  
"Didn't know you were that much paranoid. Have you some great secret to reveal?  
-Of course not. But I don't like that impression with everybody around. It's nearly creepy.  
-Anyway we can't go away, the night has fallen.  
-Right... What about the dormitories?  
-Minerva McGonagall! He laughed. D'you imagine what everybody would think if I spent my time in the First Year Girl Dormitory??  
-Ok, she laughed, ok..." She tried to hide a yawn.  
They continued small talk, unless she finally decided to relate him her transfiguration lesson.  
The lesson had been very quiet and usual, until a stupid student, or, well, a student Minerva found stupid, namely Phil, turned Earnest grey. In fact, they had been working on colours, and after half an hour of complicated explanations, each had been given a roll of white parchment. The first step was to turn it black, and back to white. Everyone had, more or less easily, and more or less rapidly -according to Minerva, her classmates were mostly slower than slugs- succeeded. Then, they had to make it gradually of all shades of grey, which was much more precise, and consequently much more difficult. And then, out of concentration on the strength of the spell, Phil had forgotten to aim correctly... And turned grey Earnest instead of the parchment. Though the shade was exactly the right one...  
"I'd swear Professor Dippet nearly laughed when he saw it, you know!... Nearly... He turned him his original colour gradually! Though I suspect it was just for fun, and he could have spare him that... First he gave him back his skin's colour, and Earnest found himself all like that: hair, clothes and all! Then he received his eyes' shade back, then his hair's, and finally his clothes'... It's really like Pr Diggory to do that, you know, but... He was like... Like not actually amused. At the beginning he was with us, nearly laughing as I said, and then, just after, it was as if... You know, as if he was doing it out of habit, but, not enjoying the fun himself..."  
They both sighed at the same time. Their eyes met and they smiled.  
"Ok, not a very funny topic, is it ? Albus admitted. I hate seeing people that way...  
-So do I, definitely. She yawned.  
-...  
-We can't do anything, can we?  
-Not really, I suppose."  
There was a silence.  
"You look tired, Albus, you should go to bed, you know...  
-I don't feel like sleeping.  
-You're not reasonable... she reproached,  
-So you finally noticed?"  
Even Minerva had to laugh at that.  
"Go on, Min', go to bed, you're half-sleeping, I can see that...  
-Yea... You should also... Oh never mind, you're a stubborn unreasonable boy... Good Night anyway...  
-Good night. Sleep Well.  
-I'll try"  
And she went to the girl staircase.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gryffindor 7th Years had transfiguration on Tuesday, first period of the afternoon. And that Tuesday, during lunch, you could find Albus Dumbledore and Alastor Moody eating, at the Gryffindor table. Not very unusual. More unusual was their conversation :  
"Are you sure? a bewildered Dumbledore was saying.  
-Positively, Albus! I tell you I found it in my father's files!  
-Oh my god... I never knew spying was a genetic legacy...  
-What? Moody tried to reply innocently.  
-Well first, I can't see how your father would have allowed you to consult his Ministry's top secret files, and then... How on earth did you go out of Hogwarts those days?  
-One thing right out of two. My father is perfectly aware of that... And as for consulting him while being at school... My secret?  
-You're truly a spy...  
-Isn't that what we need?  
-It is. Albus admitted.  
-So anyway, do we speak to Pr Diggory?  
-If you're sure he has engaged himself in that war...  
-He has, I swear. For Goodness Albus, would I be so sure otherwise?  
-No, I know you're a Moody...   
-True! You must have frequented Charles too much...  
-Alastor!  
-Ok, ok, no offence meant. Let's get back to our matter. I'm sure Diggory will be able to help us to contact the ministry and offer our help against Grindewald.  
-Professor Diggory, Albus corrected automatically  
-Whatever. Do we try?"  
Albus took a moment of reflection, before deciding:  
"Let's do it!  
-Good point."  
Moody began eating again. Nobody seemed to have noticed anything at the table, and the Great Hal was just like it always had been at this hour, full of relaxed children and teenagers, eating, chatting, sometimes giggling... and yes, often complotting about more or less important matters.  
"More salt than usual in those potatoes, isn't it?  
-Yea, that's right"   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Three days later, Albus had a free period at the end of his afternoon, and was daydreaming in the library, looking straight over a heavy leather book about "Advanced grammar of ancient Runes" -which was its subtitle- when Alastor Moody entered, seemingly looking for something... or someone :  
"Oh, Hi, Albus, I have to talk to you.  
-Now?  
-Yea, now..."  
Albus sight, and looked tired. He knew it wasn't urgent, and it was just in Alastor's way, to make it look like a matter of life or death.  
"Can't it wait, really?  
-No it can't -Albus doubted that very much- it's about... you know what...  
-Again?  
-Yea I crossed... him, three minutes ago.  
-Err... who?" Said Albus, sincerely not wanting to pay too much attention, or think too much of anything. His head felt about to explode if he had to analyse any complex matter that afternoon.  
"You know who,  
-Oh, Professor Diggory?  
-Ssshhhhh...  
-It's Ok Alastor, you've the right to speak to a Professor without catching any attention!  
-Yea, yea, Ok. But let that book and come with me in a more private place, please"  
Albus threw a circular look.  
"Why, I can't see any ferocious librarian about to yell at us for chatting in here? he said, smiling.  
-Oh for Goodness' sake Albus, it's important.  
-... I'm busy? Working?  
-No you're not.  
-What if I was?  
-I'll never understand what you can find in ancient rune! Won't help you to fight!  
-Great philosophical opening, Alastor..."  
Moody looked at loss for word.  
"Uh? And so?  
-Never mind." Albus knew he couldn't convince his friend of that.  
Alastor sighed.  
"So will you come, please? He said  
-Ok, to tell you the truth, I won't, because I'm waiting for Minerva, who'll come to see me here as soon as her first flying lesson is over.  
-It's today?  
-Yes.  
-It's late.  
-Gryffindor were the last.  
-Oh..."  
Alastor looked really exasperated.  
"Now, actually Alastor, can't it wait? Albus asked, knowing the answer.  
-All right, concretely it can...  
-I knew it...  
-But you also know each information has to be passed as soon as possible.  
-Yea, yea... But it's still school Alastor, We're not on the war yet.  
-We'll soon be... And it wouldn't be bad to be used to it."  
Albus sighed. "Here is Minerva, he said, spotting her, if you'll excuse us, Alastor  
-Ok, ok, I'll let you baby-sitting then" Moody spat out.  
Albus couldn't help laughing while Moody got away, fuming.  
  
"He does not look happy, does he?" Minerva asked.  
"Certainly not, he's jealous of you.  
-He what?  
-Never mind, only joking, replied a good-naturedly smiling Albus.  
-ehem..." She glared at him.  
"Ok, apparently your flying lesson wasn't all fun, was it?  
-Why, is it written on my face?  
-You're virtually sending daggers at me. Albus said calmly.  
-Ok, it went all wrong. I'm sure I'll never be able to fly. And I'm going to take a bath. Bye."  
And with that she was gone. Albus, seriously doubting her assessment about her capacities, went back to work, as if nothing. People would have to stop quarrelling at a point.  
  
That evening, he ate with a very secretive Alastor Moody, and went back with him to the Common Room, were they began discussing Quidditch with Charles and Carola. Minerva was, anyway, nowhere to be seen. She seemed to have settled in her dormitory and decided to hide there until next day. It would apparently be a long, a lingering evening.  
  
After about a quarter of an hour in the Common Room, Albus knew the time for Dinner was over, and Minerva still hadn't shown up. Sighing, he decided to check if she was ok... Well, let's say... if she wasn't about to throw herself from the astronomy tower...  
He asked Joyce and Lilian, who were apparently trying to understand a transfiguration lesson, in a corner of the room, but they hadn't seen Minerva since about an hour, when she had thrown them out of the dormitory, refused to explain to them their transfiguration work, and wrangle over with Milane, who was currently nowhere to be seen, but in their opinion still very upset. So, Albus thought, she had to be in the dormitory, bathing in depression about nothing important. What a nice idea, indeed!  
He hesitated a bit, but finally headed toward the girl staircase, and to the First Years' Dormitory. He pushed the door carefully, and here she was... She seemed to have stopped sobbing, but her face was covered in tears, and she was lying in her bed, staring at the dark ceiling above her. She didn't appear to have noticed Albus' presence.   
He coughed.  
"...  
-Err... Min'?  
-...  
-Minerva?"  
Still no answer. She didn't even glared at him... Though that was perhaps a positive sign, thinking of it.  
So he drew nearer, and sat beside her.  
"Minerva? he repeated.  
-What?  
-Err... basically nothing, just you seem awfully sad, and since I'm err... supposed to be your friend...  
-I'm stupid.  
-Well I don't think so, but it has to be a matter of point of view, he said thoughtfully.  
-Albus!  
-What?"  
He took an innocent face, but she didn't even see it.  
"I'm a desperate case at flying, you know?  
-Is it your opinion or Pr Cora's one?  
-She is pitiful, you know.  
-Not that much in my memory, she's realistic.  
-Well I'm sure she thought I was awful, Minerva affirmed in a definite tone.  
-What if I'm sure she didn't?"  
Minerva glared at him.  
"Anything else went bad today?"  
She turned over, as if not wanting to answer.  
"Can you never stop to read mind? Ok, everything went bad, it was a horrible day.  
-Oh... That much?  
-I had Herbology in first period, again...  
-Yea, well I fear that will be the case each Friday of the year, you know...  
-Oh don't be sarcastic, you perfectly know what I mean. Ad then Slytherins were horrible with me. Finally this afternoon my potion went wrong, and then the Flying lesson was a real pity!"  
Albus took a breath... So, all right, she had had a horrible time... Couldn't Slytherins sometime let holiday to the remainder of the castle, really?  
"That seems to me a bad day, so... tomorrow will be better?  
-Oh, just shut up with your old moralistic clichés!"  
There was a silence.  
"Thanks, Min'...  
-Sorry, I'm angry...  
-Seems so. I'll be in the Common Room anyway." He said with the most quiet voice he could still master.  
And not so sweet and patient Albus got out of the Dormitory, of the Girl staircase, and went to sit with Alastor. This one didn't know where Charles was, or Carola, which was a shame, since Albus would have done with a bit of relaxed friends... Really... They had to be wandering somewhere with the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw twins... Somewhere probably not really allowed or recommended for students after curfew, Albus though, amused. That deserted corridor in the fourth floor occurred to him, but really, he wasn't really in a mood to look for them.  
  
Albus and Alastor were plotting in a shadowing corner when Albus saw Minerva out of the corner of his eye. He tried to make Alastor aware of it, but as Minerva seemed to head toward her First years friends, he changed his mind, and contented with observing her... and in the process not paying much attention to Alastor. She sat ten minutes with her friends, and headed back to the staircase, getting out of Albus' sigh field. Instead of focusing back on Alastor's speech, he just let his mind wander a few instants through the window, in the darkening sky... when suddenly, he became very aware of Alastor having shouted something and not speaking any more :  
"Albus? Albus do you listen to me?  
-Err... Well... Yes of course I listened, until... err...   
-This little girl of yours was listening to me!"  
Then he noticed Minerva, behind them, under Alastor's accusatory eyes, and his firm grip, on her arm... She didn't spat out a word.  
"It's ok, Alastor, you don't have to held her, she isn't Grindewald's spy...  
-Albus:  
-What?  
-Don't you think she heard enough without you précising about whom... Oh, you're a... a...  
-You're a liar, Minerva cried, you didn't even tell me!  
-Of course he didn't!" Alastor stated, as if speaking to a three-year-old child.  
That was when Albus lost his comprehension of the scene... Alastor was angry, Minerva was angry, and anyway he was tired.  
"Will you release her, Alastor", he finally said, noticing he was still holding his little friend.  
Everybody stopped speaking at once. Wow, that was a good thing. And so Albus opened his eyes.  
"Ok, Alastor, calm down, it's not the end of the world."  
Alastor seemed really annoyed but didn't expressed it anyway, which was quite unlike his usual self, but who knows, perhaps he was becoming more human?  
"Min'?  
-Don't call me that way! I thought we were friends! You were supposed to tell me about your projects!...  
-That was a bit... err... secret!  
-And so? Am I not able to keep a secret?  
-Minerva...  
-Oh, stop it Albus, you can't let an 11-year-old know all about important things! Alastor finally spat out as an evidence."  
Minerva looked really upset. She glared at them, both of them, sending poisonous daggers straight at Albus and despising ones at Alastor. "So it's that way?" she said crossly, and she left them. She went to the portrait hole, spat out the password, and got out of sight.  
"Good point", Alastor said.  
"Alastor!" And Albus sighed, again... What had he done so bad to involve himself in that sort of battle...  
  
After that, Albus' evening didn't stand a chance to finish like a decent one. Though, he didn't measure how much like nightmares evenings could turn, until he saw Minerva enter back the Common Room, crying, and running to her bed, without a word. 'What, again?' He thought...  
He went to the portrait and asked the Fat Lady :  
"Hello Dear!  
-Hello, What did she say?  
-Who? That crying girl?... Something about a perfect end to a perfect day, I think...  
-What happened?  
-Now that's an interesting question! Sir Greatpock's portrait told me... You won't believe her lack of luck... She was walking, literally fuming, and...  
-And what?"  
How annoying a portrait gossiping could be...   
"And she bumped just on the Headmaster!  
-On whom?  
-Headmaster Neminos, Yes! Perfectly!"  
It was when Albus decided he had to go to bed, before anything else happened. So he headed to the boy staircase?  
"Hey Albus, don't you stay?  
-No.  
-Why?  
-Err... Tired"  
Opening the door of his dormitory, he thought... No, really... What a day...  
  
***  
  
  
Now, I've had an idea for the title and since it's been so long before I entitle the story, I think readers can have their opinion about it.   
Further along a Lifetime  
Tell me what you think... Yet another good reason to REVIEW ! 


	9. 8 : Sulking

**8. Sulking**

    For ages after that stupid conversation, Albus and Minerva were not on speaking terms. It was absurd, they both knew it. Not that they would agree on it, since they wouldn't agree on anything, anyway, but they both thought it all the same… Albus didn't really know what he had done wrong, and tried to speak to Minerva, but she refused to acknowledge his existence, most of the time. Minerva was aware of the ridicule of the situation, and wanted her friend back, but… But she didn't want to be the little child nobody trusted, but she didn't want to feel like she needed him more than he needed her. But she didn't like his gentle tone when he tried to engage a soothing chat, which in her opinion sounded much like compassion, or even pity, because he knew, being Albus he had to know, how difficult it was for her… She wanted him to miss her, as much as she missed him, and she would wait for that, as long as it would take. 

    After about a week of it, Albus stopped trying to speak to her. He knew the whole quarrel hold no sense, and she was angry about things Alastor had said, not him, things he didn't approve. But what could he do to force her? How could he tell her when she refused to listen to whatever he would say? Perhaps if he stopped harassing her every day, she would come back to him, like before. Minerva took in her friend's lack of tries to approach her. And she thought he was just forgetting her. She became angry because she was sure he didn't miss her. After all, he had spent six whole years at Hogwarts without her, why not one more? 

    Thinking of it, she couldn't say what she wanted. His attempts to establish contact made her feel like he pitied her. His lack thereof made her think he was just forgetting her. She knew it made no sense, but that was what she felt. Oh, the hell with all that. She didn't like it, all those days without him. It had been about 11 days and 30 minutes -not that she would count, of course- since she decided not to speak to him. She felt about to explode with everything she wanted to tell him. What was the point of living if she couldn't discuss her days with him on the evening? They were behaving childishly, she decided, especially her. She shifted in her armchair. Yes, she was positively sure of it, she would go and see him as soon as he would come back from God knows where, and tell him all that… And that she was just fed up with being considered as a child, not trusted and all, and he would understand. After all he was Albus, so he would understand. On that conviction, she cut off her thoughts, for fear of changing her mind before he came back, and took a muggle book, about which she would have to tell Albus, definitely… She already felt better.

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     On that same Friday evening, Albus, Carola and Charles were cheerfully coming back to their Common Room. They had had a nice evening with the twins, near the Greenhouse 2, and had even spied a little on Pr Doyle, who had been working in Greenhouse 3. Not that he did anything really interesting, but they found it highly gratifying to laugh at him from behind his back by imitating him when he was working. In any case, he was Head of Slytherin, so it was only fair to take on him their revenge against all he Slytherins. With a twisted mind, one could come up with the idea that it was his responsibility, anyway. After a long and enjoyable evening, the friends had had a hard time deciding to call it a night, and it was very late that they separated themselves.

    So Albus was having a hard job stopping his tiny Gryffindor troop from laughing unconcernedly in the corridors.

"Ssshhh… I'm supposed to be Head Boy!

-And so? We were encouraging interhouses friendship, weren't we?

-Carola! It's far after curfew…

-Oh, calm down, Albus, I already did pretty more than it and was never caught!

-Charles!

-Besides, Carola added, I'm sure Gaïa and Gregory need us to drive any patroller's attention to our part of the castle, because each of them is alone… Do you imagine being caught alone after curfew?"

At that point, they reached the Portrait of the Fat Lady, to Albus greatest relief.

    "Grindylow, Charles stated.

-Is that a good reason for being out so late? The lady complained.

-Grindylow I told you, Charles smirked, not in the least ashamed,

-Oh, all right, all right…"

And they entered the room, laughing.

    Albus took a quick look at the Common Room. Nearly empty, which was normal considering the advanced hour of the day. In an armchair was Minerva tough, alone. And he would have sworn she had looked at him, before turning her head in the other direction, with a hurt look. Was she upset about her day, or something? He headed toward her, but she ignored him. He supposed she had been waiting for someone else. 

    Charles had already disappeared in the Boy staircase, but Carola was still on the first step of the Girl's one, and she was observing Albus, for she, too, had noticed Minerva. As Albus immobilized, seeing that Minerva obviously didn't wanted to establish any type of communication with him, Carola came back to the Common Room and to Albus.

    She touched his forearm: 

"It's a bit late for a First Year, isn't it?

-I suppose…

-You two still don't speak to each other…"

That was a mere statement, and necessitated no answer.

"Albus, shouldn't you go and see her?

-She doesn't want it.

-Are you sure? What else would make her wait until such an hour?

-I wonder…"

Carola sighed.

"Look, go upstairs, I'll speak to her, ok?"

And she went, without letting him the chance to answer anything. 

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Minerva was confused. She had wanted to conclude peace with Albus, but somehow… She had waited for him, but not for the cheerful him that had come through the portrait. He certainly didn't miss her. That was obvious, and why refusing to see the obvious. He could enjoy himself greatly without her. He didn't want to be her friend, not really; it wasn't important to him. She should have seen it before. Further along that line of thoughts, she was shutting herself in a depressed state when a noise made her open her eyes. Carola was sat in front of her.

    "Good evening, Minerva"

    She didn't seem angry with her, or about to blame her for anything. 

     "Good evening, Carola"

    Though, Minerva suspected her to be here because Albus had asked her to. That would be it. He wanted to check if the child was ok without him… As if… 

    "Can I talk to you?"

    If she refused, they would think she wasn't coping with the situation.

    "Yes, you can"

    Carola seemed to hesitate. So there she was, she would say it now, that Albus was worried about her…

    "Well… You know, I see Albus and you are not speaking"

    It was coming.

    "and I know it's none of my business"

    True.

    "so I won't ask you why or pry in it,"

    Good point… Though that's what she's doing anyway, prying.

    "unless you want to tell me."

    There she stopped a bit. As Minerva didn't reply –no she wouldn't whine, sorry if they're deceived- she went on: "Ok, you don't want. So what I were to tell you anyway, is that perhaps you don't see it, but Albus is suffering from it, and I think you're als-"

    At the previous statement, Minerva had stayed silent, but couldn't stop her eyes from widening, and Carola had perceived it.

"Minerva, don't you know it?

-He doesn't seem that sad…

-He is.

-Prove it."

She hadn't wanted to say that. She bit her lower lip. She was fishing for a proof, and Carola had to notice it.

"So you truly don't think he misses you?"

Minerva turned her eyes away.

"He loves you very much, you know.

-He doesn't need me, came the bursting answer.

-Why do you think so?

-I'm just a child for him.

-But you _are_ just a child, aren't you?

-Yes, Minerva pronounced rather reluctantly, of course… Bitterness was impossible to keep out of her tone… but that doesn't mean he can't trust me or count on me or anything.

-I think he trusts you, Carola replied after a moment of reflection,

-And I think you're wrong.

-Well… I'm supposed to be one of his friends, and… He never confided much to anybody, you know."

Minerva sighed.

"Possible… 

-You know it… Then why are you sulking?

-I'm not."

That was hurting… She was too sensitive, she thought, no doubt about that.

"It looks like you are, then."

Minerva felt tears trying to poke out of her eyes, so she got up and nearly ran out of the room, in an attempt to hide them for what little dignity she still felt like having She vaguely threw a "Good Night" to Carola as she passed her.

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Later that night, Minerva still couldn't sleep… So that was what they all thought, that she was only childishly sulking. Then she would show them, that she wasn't. Because that's not what she did, was it? No… Sulking was just a stupid attitude; she, was trying to express something. Yes, that would be it. Anyway, to the point, she could survive without all of them 7th Year. Or perhaps it was just stupid, to befriend people so far from her own age. The thought had never occurred to her, but she had heard people saying so, not too loud, not to convincingly. And here she was, wondering… Perhaps they were ridiculous, and she just looked like a baby gripping the protection of older ones. Worse, perhaps it was how Carola saw her, or even Albus. Ouch, that was painful. The thought hit her as if a dagger had suddenly, of his own will, tore her heart… And she refused it. That was utterly, totally impossible. Yet… just like horrible thoughts always do, it lingered awfully for days, becoming bigger, seeming less and less improbable… and then more and more probable. 

    Once she caught herself daydreaming in Defence against the Dark Arts; several times she had to admonish herself because her week of History of Magic was turning in a torture... She often didn't listen to her friends' chatting during meals, sometimes even didn't hear them. Life was turning a very nasty shade of grief… Aggravated by Carola's words. Because whatever she said, Minerva had been attentive to them, and she found herself doubting about her assumptions, supposing she could be just imagining everything. Her head was a terrible mess, and worse.

    The day of Halloween, she was nearing a nervous collapse. She simply had to talk to Albus. Instead of being excited about the Halloween Party, she stayed on her bed that day, trying to make something sensible out of her anguish, in order to be able to speak to Albus. Milane, Joyce and Lilian were happily chatting about the Feast. It would take place in the Common Rooms of each house, and they were allowed and encouraged to come disguised. Milane, Joyce and Lilian had a bit of a problem, though, transfigurating their clothes in what was supposed to be different animals.

"Min', come here!" Milane called.

-Why?

-Come on, get out of your depression!"

After a reasonably ill-tempered grunt, Minerva's head poked out of her curtains, and let hear an audible sigh.

"What do you think it is?" Milane asked, not in the least impressed, pointing at Joyce.

Minerva nearly smiled… At least her mouth twisted, but she caught it back in time. "Err… A black Pumpkin that has blown up?" 

Lilian sat heavily, with a discouraged face. 

"Min, could you help us with transfiguration… our costumes are going to be awful if you don't!

-Well, I could try, but I'm as much a 1st Year as you…

-Yea, but you're better at transfiguration, Joyce pointed out, come on!

-All right… she gave in, So… What are you supposed to be?

-A bat." She said flatly.

Half an hour later, Minerva looked proudly at a bat, a werewolf (they had had to consult a book about its exact appearance), and a ghost… Well, Milane still had a bit of colours, but she was relatively translucent, and could always say she was a poltergeist if she was asked.

"So, what will you be?" A smiling Milane asked.

-Oh…" 

A look of painful realization crept up on Minerva's face, considering her three comrades' mischievous faces.

"Nothing, I'll come as me

-You won't!

-And why, please?

-Because we won't let you!

-I'm not in a mood to celebrate… Beside, I won't be able to transfigurate correctly if it's on me…

-Oh, come on, we'll help you; we're not that hopeless! Milane laughed,

-And we could ask older students, Lilian offered.

-What about those 7th Year you were always…" Joyce was stopped by a cough from Milane, but Minerva had caught it nevertheless, and sat back.

"Oh, Min', a transparent Milane said smoothly, sitting next to her, you can't go on like that… I swear, people would think you were in love and you broke up" Minerva smiled at that idea, "Ah, at least I made you laugh! See it can be useful to tell stupidities!"

    Finally, after dinner, Minerva agreed to be a black cat, though she suspected she would have to explain to lots of people what a black cat and Halloween had to do… Anyway, it was a good thing she had only agreed after Dinner, because her costume was not really… easily removable! Milane's colours, or lack thereof, had already attracted them lots of comment, although she wasn't the only one who had come to Dinner in her Halloween's outfit. 

    Minerva was quite proud of her whiskers, which she had sprouted with the help of a mirror, and of the ears Milane and Joyce had given her, after a hard time trying to shape them correctly. Lilian had done her a nice tail, which she had repaid by giving her red eyes and bat's hands. What they all had to admit, though, was that the fur had been the most difficult part!… But finally, they had succeeded! The only thing Minerva had refused was the fur on her face, "How would people know it's me, otherwise?"… And so her body was all covered in black fur. Minerva felt a bit naked, at the beginning, but soon became more familiar with her temporary state.

    "You make a nice giant cat", a teasing Lilian concluded.

         ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Some hours later, Minerva was sat in a deserted corner of the Common Room. Having finally escaped her friends, she could give a searching glance to the whole room. She would have sworn Albus had disappeared at a point of the evening, and then come back, and she was trying to spot him. Then she heard someone sit on an armchair, beside her. She raised her eyes and stayed petrified at the sight of the… creature in font of her. It was a Vampire. An actual vampire… staring at her in a way she utterly disliked. And then it spoke:

    "You're nice in cat"

    And she sighed.

    "Albus you frightened me!

-I saw that, sorry if the costume was too good, it was Charles' idea to make me paler.

-Well, change it back, she said, still shocked, you're too creepy…"

Albus laughed, took out his wand and broke the charm that was on his face.

"Where are your usual friends, by the way?

-In the Hufflepuff Common Room I think, or perhaps Ravenclaw, I'm not sure. I left them there because I wanted to see you.

-Err… nice, she said, staring at him again, are you forced to keep those… err… fangs, though?

-I think the tooth are indeed an important part of the character, sorry!… Anyway, glad to see a vampire scares you more than the usual me. Does it mean my case isn't fundamentally hopeless?"

A brief silence passed, before they both raised their heads again and their eyes met.

"Can we go elsewhere? Minerva asked in a rush,

-You definitely don't like it in here, do you?

-Even less when there's a Party going on, let's go!"

She took his hand and led him to her dormitory, "Minerva, I…" "I don't care, Albus, they may think what please them!" "All right, all right" he said unwillingly.

    Minerva settled on her bed, and Albus sat on the floor, because she frankly preferred not to have to see him, or rather his tooth if she could help it.

    "So, what is it I did so wrong, to deserve your anger?"

    Minerva took a deep breath, and began to calmly explain all she had thought before in the afternoon, to rationally make a list of it. Then she became a bit less quiet. And finally, she was crying as she spoke, on and on, not stopping, and Albus not interrupting her. She finished sobbing. "Sorry, I had to get it out of my system, but I guess it touched me emotionally"

    Albus stood up, sat near her on the bed, put an arm around her shoulders and took a handkerchief.

    "I guess my handkerchief will agree with that", he said, the tiniest smile in his voice.

She blew her nose, and he added :

    "I'm sorry if I let you believe all that. I never saw you that way, and I'm pretty sure none of my friends did. Even Alastor doesn't think you're annoying; he's just a bit gruffly and doesn't like little girls… But he confessed me he knew you weren't like his sister. You know, he finds her a bit… well, a bit girlish indeed."

    At that point, Minerva dried her last tears, and half-smiled.

    "You know, and we all know you're my friend, I mean an entire friend, and I don't care how old you are, you're still more reasonable than Charles, and perhaps more human than Alastor, although I suspect him of softening, recently" Minerva snorted, and he chuckled. "All right, not much, I admit"

    "Anyway" he went on "I never was a very open person, I don't confide much, and I don't want you to think I don't trust you, because I do. I often don't want to share my burdens with my friends, because I don't want to annoy them, and perhaps since you're younger I hesitated even more to tell you lots of things, but… I mean… It's normal, and believe me, it's not because I don't think high of you. I do…" He paused a bit. "Well I don't really know what I'm supposed to add… I love your company, and I have a lot of respect for you, and… I'll try not to be too protective on the future, but… I think you understand I can't just let you handle the same problems as I would expect from an adult. You handle things a bit ahead of your age yet, if you ask me, and I admire you for coping with it, but… You're still a child, aren't you…"

    Minerva cuddled. From the depth of his cloak, which covered her, a little voice came:

"I suppose so." Then a little louder, "Albus…

-Yes?

-Could you please took those… _tooth_ away…"

He laughed but did what he was asked.

"Thanks, it wasn't easy to speak to a vampire, you know…"

He smiled.

"Albus?

-Minerva.

-Just promise me you'll tell me about the important things happening in your life, ok?

-As far as I can, he said after a sigh, and then, in a whisper, I swear…

-Thanks."

    They stayed some time in silence, in thoughts, until finally,

"Minerva?

-Mmm…

-You're so nice in cat form, it would be a shame not to get back down, where everybody can see you, wouldn't it?

-Mmmm…

-And the others will be waiting for me, along with your friends I think…

-I suppose"

    So they got up, Albus charmed back a vampire's dentition, and they went down the stairs, to the Common Room, where Minerva was overwhelmed by a group of lively friends, while Albus eclipsed himself discreetly through the portrait door, to whatever house in which his friends were.

                                                    ***

A.N.

Review, now? Please? I feel like nobody's reading, and I know it's August, but it's not a reason… I'll turn in a sulking Minerva, if nobody wants to review! Puppy dog eyes… Beside, if you review I'll certainly read your fics, because I like to know who reviews my work, and there's so much fics on the site that I can't read everything, so I have strange manners to chose, jumping to an author I never read before because someone makes him "ad", or reading my reviewer's fics…

Speaking of shameless "ad" (aka reading-advice), I had a long ff.net exploration yesterday, and I discovered some of Aemos' fics, which are worth reading, really, go and check it, now! I only read _Dancing with Tears in my Eyes,_ _I don't wanna close my eyes _and_ Missing You _so far, and they are nice fics! GO ON, GIVE IT A TRY! And I was totally seduced by Keysaer Lachlanny's _Love is strange_… It's only a personal judgment, and I suspect my subconscious is as influent on that opinion as my literary appreciation, but I think all of you should read it if you're looking for a touching 20-year-old-Ginny trying to initiate a love story with Snape while staying in character… Go and cheer her, she needs it! (If anybody's interest in what my subconscious has to do with it, or if anybody just wants to laugh at me, check the review I let for her first chapter, it was a bit late and I was tired enough to dwell on that sort of personal matter, even though now this review is on the net and everyone can see it… Audible sigh…)


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